27 April 2009

Fear in the World

This guy just wanted to smash our friends face while we were lying and listening to the wind and enjoying the warm night on the public "lake beach" in Cowansville. He felt personally attacked while he passed by and some of us were laughing in our conversation... He wanted to have some fight.., he wanted to prove how strong he is...,
but while he was talking how he doesn't like Dominique and how he knows how bad person he is and how much he wants to kick him on the face and to see lots of blood... - I was lying next to Dominique, listening, feeling my heart, being so present in the moment that there wasn't even no space for fear.., just full on readyness...
I realized how much this guy actually wants to find friends, wants to feel being loved..
But he tried to get it trough the fear. And this is not the way.
He left. He said that Dominique is not worth his time and energy...

He had some friends as well.

But. Some time passed by.
And they came back. They passed us so close, he still didn't like Dominique...

I understood that there is nothing else to do than to talk with angels,
to trust that all of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory.
And as the Guy was talking about smashing the face again, he's friend told him - let them be, leave them alone for this night...

Fear. I felt fear.
Why? I asked from myself...,
why there is fear in the world? Am I creating it or just recieving it from this crazy guy?

Just before this appointment we met with policewomen. They were checking out what are we doing there on the beach after 11 PM. It is not so legal to be out so late. But we were peaceful, so they just left. 
And after them came the badass guys who actually would have needed the presence of police so much more than we did.

So, somehow I do understand why the police is patrolling around and making sure that everything is safe..., but still, if there is anger inside the hearts of people, it is not removed by the police..

It took some time for me to overcome the feeling of fear.. Jamaican happyhippie music helped... People, who care from you help as well.
Thank you all, 
who you are in the world,
supporting and loving.

Last night we were afraid that we don't have a place to sleep in Montreal. We were searching and writing and thinking.., being a bit nervous. But all we had to do was to sit down on a hippie cafe, listen to good live Cuban music, dance, and talk with a guy who got my attention from the first moments I saw him..., he was writing so fast that the table was shaking... And so we sleeped on his parents place out of Montreal. 
What a life!

I learned that fear way is not the way,
trust and love will pave my path.

Times are changing a lot lately,
people are being killed in Sri Lanka. 
In Montreal they were on the streets because of this. 
But the goverments of the big countries in the world are doing nothing much..

I guess the pain is needed to understand some things,
to learn in the hard way..

Thank you World for all the lessons you give us!

24 April 2009

Plan? No Plan.

We have been living in Justin`s Mom`s place for a week now. Friday again. First week in Canada.
we have had free time during the days, when everybody is at work. And free time during the nights when everybody is asleep. It seems that we like the times when we are on our own,
listening to the music we find good for us, watching some movies we have never seen, but it seems we have something to learn from them...
It seems like boring,
for my new passport to arrive to Montreal...
this is what our brains are talking sometimes. They say that, hey guys, what are you tossing here! Cammon` start moving, doing, going!

but what? Where?

We got a letter from a local guy who found our blog and got excited and contacted us to maybe meet, learn, share. He is from the Rainbow Family. This feeling..., this is just great to see that our writing here has something from us, it can touch the people, it can move the World in a small scale. That is all.
And do we meet or not, it doesn`t matter anymore, cause I got the feeling!

It is a lesson to learn, how to wait. How to be in peace if I don`t have even any clue what is going to happen with me soon. To drop the plans which I try to make in my mind. Even forget that I have to create a plan what do I want to do with my life in the World.
Plans are just boxes I try to put myself in. But those boxer are smaller than I am. I am the Universe. Why do I want to fit myself somewhere where I actually don`t fit?!
Why do I have to search for a perfect place for me?
I am perfect without boxes and ideal places. I am perfect everywhere!
My life is Here,
just in this moment with You,
in this breathing.

There is no plans I have to make,
I just have to trust myself, intuition,
to wait sometimes and to act efficently if I know what I have to do. There is no need for rushing when I don`t know really where to rush and why... Only when the sky is clear I can see the stars. Yes, they are there even if it is cloudy,
but there is no need to set the course on your sailboat on a cloudy weather when you really don`t know where is the Northern Star.

I saw the sky here, during the nighttime. Suur Vanker.
I just need 5 minutes to sing and stand under the stars, people around me can do their things meanwhile. I just step out from the car and look up. Feel here.
Inspiration. I am fullfilled and inspired!

Thank You Mother Earth for providing all those different places on the Earth for us to experience and feel! We can go and choose a place what is supportive for us, choose a place where to learn what it means when it is warm all the time. And what it means when it is cold all the time.
All here.

Go out and be with You!
Be with everything there is!
Appreciate the Beings you have around,
share this life, share yourself, create space.

Thank You!

23 April 2009




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19 April 2009

Hoovused. Currents.

Jah, olengi Kanadas.
See tunne on midagi v2ga uut ja vana korraga.
Auto tagaistmel istudes ja tundes seda, kus olen ja mis toimub..., selles on midagi, mida s6nadesse on keeruline panna, kuid mis on tugev tunne, on selge ja on sygav.
Nyyd taipan, kuidas mulle meeldib kevade hallus ja lagedus,
mis varsti hakkab rohelusse puhkema.
Majade vahel on palju ruumi
ja poodide riiulid on tehtud puust,
on ilusad ja armsad.
Hinnad on kallid, peab ytlema. Aga see on vaid suhtumise kysimus. Ma unustan 2ra v6rdlusmomendi, siis pole probleeme :)

Vanavanaisa astus 30ndatel siin maal, et teha t88d, ehk otsida 6nne. Siis oli maailmas majanduskriis.
Naljakas, natuke sama on ka praegu juhtumas.

Mu silmad vaatavad selgelt,
tunnen julgust astuda teele, mis viib l22nepoole,
avastada ilusaid vaateid, m2gesid ja lagendikke,
kuulata 2rkavate lindude hyydeid ja tunda karge tuule iile.
Jah, olen p6hjamaa laps
ja kuigi vahest on hea maanduda palmidemaale,
h6iskab hing r66must,
kui v6ilillede aeg on ainult kevadel
ja puud on talvel magamas.


Yes, I am in Canada.
This feeling is something very old and new at the same time.
I can just observe this ... this something... which is hard to put into the words. It is strong. It is clear. It is deep.

Now I can see how much I love how the greyness of spring is about to change into the greenness of spring. How there is space in between houses. And some roads are bad to drive on...
Shelves on the stores are made of wood,
they are beautiful and cozy.
Prizes are high,
but if I forget what I know about those things.., there is no problem at all!

Our great grandfather touched this ground with his feet on the thirties to find work, to find luck... It was the time of economical crisis.
Funny. Something similar is happening now as well in the World.

My eyes are clear,
I feel the courage to take the road to west,
to see beautiful landscapes, mountains and lowlands,
to listen the sounds of awakening birds, to let my hair be blown by crispy winds...
Yes, I am a child of North.
Although it is good to step out from the plain into the palm-lands,
my soul is singing in joy
when the spring time is blooming
and trees are asleep in the wintertime.

Chia Seeds lad. k "Salvia hispanica"

Once in the forests of Texas in United States I found myself eating the most astonishing jelly kind of a thing. Later i found out that it was Chia seeds soaked in the water. The taste was silky, light and the energy was flowing around. The connection was made.

TS of stem of chia, Salvia hispanica, showing region of cortical parenchyma, phloem fibres, xylem and pith parenchyma. Cycling images of Calcofluor staining, red wavelength autofluorescence, LM10-FITC labelling of xylan in secondary cell walls and in scattered parenchyma cell walls The source

So I would like to share some backround info of these seeds and its history and story.

It might be still hard to find Chia in Europe, but who knows, maybe the doors are opened for this warrior food by now.

What is Chia Seed?

An Article from
by Angela Stokes
Chia seed is an ancient superfood that is currently experiencing a glorious renaissance ;) It is a member of the sage family (Salvia Hispanica). The little black and white seeds were once a staple of the Incan, Mayan and Aztec cultures, along with the Native Americans of the southwest.
"Chia" is actually the Mayan word for strength. The seeds were used by these ancient cultures as mega-energy food, especially for their running messengers, who would carry a small pouch of it with them. Chia has been called 'Indian Running Food' and gives an incredibly 'sustaining' surge of energy. I've definitely noticed for myself the 'running energy' that chia seems to impart. If I eat chia, then run later that day, my endurance and ability to run further is greatly enhanced - pretty impressive stuff... ;)
The chia we sell in our online store is imported from Mexico and is certified organic. In Mexico they say that one tablespoon of chia seeds can sustain a person for 24 hours. Chia also happens to TASTE great, looks cute (like tiny dinosaur eggs) and is ready to eat really quickly - besides which it has an off-the-scale nutritional profile...


Why would you want to eat Chia?

Chia seeds are said to have:

  • 2 times the protein of any other seed or grain,
  • 5 times the calcium of milk, plus boron which is a trace mineral that
    helps transfer calcium into your bones,
  • 2 times the amount of potassium as bananas,
  • 3 times the reported antioxidant strength of blueberries
  • 3 times more iron than spinach
  • copious amounts of omega 3 and omega 6, which are essential fatty acids...

    They are a complete source of protein, providing all the essential amino acids in an easily digestible form. They are also a fabulous source of soluble fibre.
    Like flax, chia is highly 'hydrophilic' - the seeds absorb water and create a mucilaginous gel. They can hold 9-12 times their weight in water and they absorb it very rapidly - in under 10 minutes.

    One advantage of chia is that because it has such a high antioxidant content, the seeds stay stable for much longer, whereas flax, for example, may turn rancid. Chia seeds can easily be stored dry for 4-5 years without deterioration in flavour, odour or nutritional value. You can substitute chia in any recipe that calls for flax.

  • Mild Taste
    The taste of chia is very mild and pleasant. That means you can easily combine it with other foods without changing the taste dramatically. People add chia to their sauces, bread batters, puddings, smoothies and more. The flavour is retained, plus masses more nutrition is added ;)

    The 'Dieter's Dream Food'
    Chia has been called a dieter's dream food because when added to foods, it bulks them up, displacing calories and fat without diluting the flavour. Thus, someone can eat a typical serving, yet only consume about half the calories they might have eaten, because the food has been bulked up with chia. PLUS, the eater gets a bellyful of nutrient-rich superfood goodness, which hydrates and sustains them - magic ;)


  • What are some other benefits of eating Chia?

  • Provides energy
  • Boosts strength
  • Bolsters endurance
  • Levels blood sugar
  • Induces weight loss
  • Aids intestinal regularity

    Sugar Absorption
    Chia slows the impact of sugars on the system, if eaten together. Chia gel creates a physical barrier between carbohydrates and the digestive enzymes that break them down, which slows the conversion of carbs into sugar. That means the energy from the food is released steadily, resulting in more endurance. This is clearly of great benefit to diabetics in particular. It also means that I can combine chia with super-sweet tastes like apple juice and not get super-spiked ;)

    Absorb and Retain Water
    Due to the exceptional water-absorption quality of chia, it can help you prolong hydration and retain electrolytes, especially during exertion.

    Easy to Digest
    Whole, water-soaked chia seeds are easily digested and absorbed. Their tiny dinosaur-egg-like shells break down quickly. They feel light in the body, yet energising. Their nutrients can be quickly assimilated into the body.

    Intestinal Broom
    Chia seeds bulk up, then work like an incredible digestive broom, sweeping through your intestinal tract, helping to dislodge and eliminate old accumulated waste in the intestines. Many people find their stools also become more regular once they eat chia.

    Chia is a very reasonably priced, concentrated food. Our 1lb bags cost $8. 1/3 cup of dry chia seeds (2 ounces) makes about 17 ounces of chia gel. This costs about $1. Depending on how much gel you use, those 17oz will likely last, on average, about four days. That is about 25cents a day.

    Chia can be used in so many kinds of recipes - savoury, sweet - it works with anything. You might want to try them in salad dressings, cookie mixtures, smoothies, crackers, ice creams, juices and so on.

    Chia seed protein contains no gluten. This makes it ideal for anyone with a gluten sensitivity or simply wanting to find a replacement for gluten-containing grains like wheat, barley, rye and oats.

  • Ten Raw Chia Recipes

    WARNING - these are 'hardcore' raw foodist recipes, developed and used by long-term raw food eaters. Some may seem quite peculiar or unfamiliar to those who are not accustomed to eating raw. We encourage you to try them out though and to perhaps use them as a 'spring-board' for creating and enjoying your own chia recipes...
    All of these recipes are based on one person eating.

    Basic Chia Gel

    Mix 1/3-cup chia seeds to 2 cups water. Stir. This is the 'basic gel' recipe that can be stored in your fridge and used as required.

    Sweet Shortbread Chia
    4-5 tbsps chia seeds
    2 cups fresh apple juice
    2 tbsp lucuma powder
    1/2 cup dried mulberries
    1/4 cup pumpkin seeds

    Soak the chia seeds in the apple juice. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Leave to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming.

    'Chia Fresca'
    2 tsp chia seeds
    10oz pure water
    juice of one lemon or lime
    agave syrup or raw honey to taste

    This is still a popular drink in modern-day Mexico. Simply stir the ingredients together and enjoy.

    Fruity Chia
    3 small or 2 big apples
    8 dates, pits removed
    4-5 tbsp chia seeds
    1/4 cup dried mulberries

    Blend the apples and six of the dates together. Transfer that mixture into a bowl and stir in the chia seeds and mulberries. Chop down the remaining 2 dates into pieces and stir those in too. Leave to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming.

    Bana-paya Chia
    1 banana
    1 cup papaya flesh
    6 dried Turkish figs
    4-5 tbsp chia, ground

    Blend the banana and papaya flesh together. Put the figs in this mixture and leave it to soak overnight. Blend the whole mixture, including the figs, the next day. Stir in the ground chia seed. Serve.

    Chia Gel 'Muesli'
    1 cup of basic chia gel
    2 bananas, mashed with a fork
    1 tbsp lucuma powder
    1/4 cup raisins
    1/4 cup pumpkin seeds

    Mix together the ingredients in a bowl with a fork and eat.

    Green Chia
    8 dried prunes, soaked in 1 pint pure water
    1 tbsp spirulina powder
    1/3-cup chia seeds

    Drain off most of the prune soak water and put the chia seeds to soak in the prune soak water. Blend together the prunes with the spirulina and a small amount of the soak water. Stir the spirulina/prune mixture into the soaked chia seeds. Leave the chia to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming.

    Persi-nana Chia
    4-5 tbsp chia seeds
    1-2 bananas
    1-2 persimmons
    1tsp maca
    1 tsp cinnamon
    handful of goji berries
    handful of pumpkin seeds

    Blend together the bananas and persimmons. Pour out the mixture into a bowl. Stir in the chia seeds, maca, cinnamon, gojis and pumpkin seeds. Leave the chia to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming.

    Raw 'Rice Pudding'
    4-5 tbsp chia seed
    2 cups almond milk
    raw honey or agave syrup to taste

    Combine the ingredients to your taste. Leave the chia to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming. You can also add other flavours like vanilla, cinnamon or cardamom.

    Banana-nut Bread
    2 cups vegetable juice pulp (preferably at least half carrot)
    8 tbsp ground chia
    1/4 cup chopped walnuts
    1/2 cup raisins
    5 bananas
    Mix together the veggie juice pulp and bananas in a food processor. Add in the ground chia and let the food processor run until the seeds are completely mixed in.
    Transfer the mixture to a bowl with the walnuts and raisins and mix them in thoroughly by hand. Shape into a loaf. For major yumminess, top with ?Cream Cheese? (see below).

    Cream Cheese
    Flesh of three avocados
    9 dates
    juice of 1 or 2 lemons
    big handful of dulse seaweed


    |||We are what we eat|||
    at least 10% from our well being is dependent on our diet
    another 10% is physical activity
    and the last third of a third is breathing.
    So it will make 30% in total.

    So now you are thinking what makes the rest from the whole???

    The answer is in you head.
    Thinking :D

    Wisdom written down by Gunnar Aarma <>

    16 April 2009

    Prayers with tabacco.
    Palved tubakaga.
    Chalmita, Mexico,
    april 2009
    Pilt: Sander

    Pyha geomeetria. Higistamistelk.
    Holy geometry. Temazcal. Sweat-lodge.
    Chalmita, Mexico
    aprill 2009
    Pilt: Sander

    Horses above, we are sleeping under all, in the tipi.
    Hobud ülal, meie kõige all, tipis.
    Chalmita, Mexico,
    1. aprill 2009
    Pilt: Sander

    Welcome! I just survived 4 days of nothing. Pure Breath!
    Tere! Olen elus pärast 4ja päeva mittemillegiga. Puhas hingus!
    Chalmita, Mexico
    5. aprill 2009
    Pilt: Sander

    There she goes.
    Seal ta läeb.
    Mexico D.F.
    märts 2009
    pilt: Sander

    Stop. Avenue.
    Peatus. Avenüü.
    Mexico D.F.
    märts 2008
    Pilt: Sander

    Holy Light is Your Path.
    Pyha Valgus on Sinu Tee.
    Zocalo, Mexico D.F., Mexico,
    april 2008
    Pilt: Marian

    15 April 2009

    Just seal, m2gede rypes 2rkas teravus enese sisse ja nyyd on sammud sel rajal edasi viimas.
    Enese sees on 2revus. See on hoopis teine kui siis, kui kuus kuud tagasi Mehhiko poole lendama hakkasime. Siis lihtsalt j2lgisin, mis juhtub, polnud erilist tunnet...
    Praegu on k6hus liblikaid ja p6nevust. Inglid ytlevad, et on uued algused.
    eile sattusime kasutatud kauba paradiisi (oi, emale siin meeldiks, ja teistelegi, usun:), korjasime endile viie ja kymne peeso eest pykse ja pluuse ja kampsuneid. M2ng. Oled selline kui tahad olla.
    Ainult et kotist tuleb palju kraami minema visata, sest kott pole vahepeal kasvanud. Ja 6nneks on lennukitel ka tonnaazilimiit.
    Meil on kingad¡
    See teeb nii viisaka tunde enda astumisse, et tore on¡
    V2ikeste ja armsate elu asjadega saab l6butseda, saab muutuda.

    Oaxaca juust.

    Need on mu t2nase p2eva menyys, lemmikud siinselt maalt.

    Kas olete kuulnud chia seemnetest... Me leidsime neid siit. Sander teadis, et tegemist on imem6nusate ja muidu yliv6imsate terakestega. Neil lased vee sees endile m6nus limapallike ymber tekitada ja siis ampsad lusikaga. S6dalased pidavat paari lusikat2iega p2evakese v6itlust vastu pidama... ja saab yletada k6rbeidki..
    Need seemned on siitmaalt, hispaaniaste tulekuga eemale t6ugatud (eks see kaval vallutusplaan ole, et v6etakse kohalikud v2etaimed k2est 2ra, nagu amarantigagi tehti) ja praegu kohalikele ysna tundmatud. Meil joppas, et yhest naturista ja soya poest leidsime nad. Head teekaaslased.
    Ehk j6uavad nad kunagi ka Eestimaale, kui mitte teiste, siis meie kaudu yhel heal p2eval. Niiet hoidke p8idlad pihus ja s88ge rohelist sibulat seniajani¡

    Hea uudis on ka see, et google translator on eesti keeleski saadaval:
    Tundub, et eestlaste n2ol on tegemist parajate arvutifriikidega. Meil on pimedad 88d ja pikad talved.., j6uab tegeleda selliste asjadega. Mehhikos muudkui p2ike paistab, siin inimesed on rohkem v2ljas ja teistega koos.. Ega kui meil Eestis suvi on, siis keegi eriti t6sist t88d teha ei m6ista... kujuta ette, et siin on suvi kogu aeg...:P
    Ja kui meid endeid vaadata, siis vahest kui arvuti juurde satume, on ikka asju, mida asjatada. Arvuti on ikka hea s6ber, mitte vaenlane:)

    Viis Tiibetlast - harjutused, mida v6id lahkelt enda juurde lubada. Raamat on olemas eestikeeles ja allpool leiad video, kus on n2ha, kuis neid harjutusi teha saab. P.S. Ookean pole harjutuste edukaks sooritamiseks vajalik, kuid aegajalt on hea end veega puhastada ikka, just nii, kuis k2ttesaadav on¡
    Nendega on nii, et alustad kolmest kordusest ja iga n2dal teed kaks rohkem. Teed, kuni j6uad 21 korduseni. Sinna j22d pidama, see on piisav ja kylluslik¡ Hea toonus ja kerge tunne¡ Maagiline¡
    Infot leiab internetist ka, Five Tibetians, inglise keeles.

    Lend lend
    kanna meid
    kanna tuul
    kanna muld
    olen puu
    olen suu
    olen muu
    sina ju


    Just there in between the mountains I found sharpness and simplicity, which is now guiding our road to Canada. The last day here.
    Wow, it feels so different from the times we were coming to Mexico, 6 months ago. It feels butterflies inside, it feels excited¡
    Angels are saying that there are new beginnings.

    Yesterday we walked into a big market, full of second-hand gringo clothes - God bless those americans who are consuming so lot that the left-overs are so plentyful¡ We found new pants and shirts with 5 and 10 pesos... And a warm jumper for the cold (which I am already waiting for...)...., actually it feels so good to be able to wear more clothes than just the lightest shirt... And here is getting a bit too hot as well, it is not so good to be outside during the midday anymore...
    Oh, jeah, we can throw away a lots of things now, cause bags are still the same size... and fortunately the plain has its on weight-limits as well ;)
    Shoes, we have nice shoes now¡ I guess we can trick them now - they don`t think we are hippies anymore...
    Those small things make such a difference really.
    One great thing is that our sleeping bags are also washed now¡ Hooray to Jim who has a washing machine¡

    Oaxaca cheese.

    They are part of the menu today. Good indeed.

    Chia seeds - have you heard about them... They are wonderous, small and big when you give some water to them. Warriours could fight a whole day with just some spoonfulls... and you can cross the deserts...
    So, just go and make your body and soul happy with them. In Estonia you might not find them yet, but wait, when we come back we will help those seeds to cross the borders¡

    Good news - google translator: is available in Estonian now as well¡
    Go and check it out, it is free¡
    Estonians are kind of computer-freaks for sure - they have long and dark nights and winters..., cold weather from time to time.. Here in Mexico people go out and take a taco and a bear..., it is warm all the time... You know Estonian summers - nobody is making serious work in summers..., but imagine, here it is always as summer....:P
    We get along good with the computers as well.
    Only sometimes they are not around so much...

    Have you heard about 5 tibetians - the exercises - you can start doing those now, they really are simple and easy, but they work inside and outside, they are like chia seeds :) And I started with them just now.
    Take a look:

    There is a lot of material in the web..and in the books as well.
    Take yourself into your own hands and make a change into your daily routine¡
    All the things we know good, we have practised...:)
    By the way, the ocean is not neccessary there to be successful, though, cleaning yourself with the water from time to time - yeah, you want to do this¡
    So, you start with 3 repetitions with each exercise. With every week you add 2 times. And you get to 21 and stay there. This is enough. This is magical.
    Try it out¡

    Wing wing
    carry us
    be the sky
    we fly

    13 April 2009

    Eesti keeles, Eesti meeles

    on kyll n6ndamoodi, et kui ainult vennaga k6neleda emakeelt, siis vahest tuleb kirjutamine hoopis inglise keeles. Ja on neid, kellega teel kohtutud ja kes meie pisikest yhemiljonikeelt kohe sugugi ei m6ista. Tuleb siis igatmoodi teha.

    Nyyd on otsa saamas aeg Mehhikomaal. Oleme viimase n2dala siin olnud,
    kogenud igasugususi.
    Praegu k6nnime s6bra j2lgedes, kes on ses suurlinnas ennem olnud - tema s6pruskond ymbritses meid kohtadega, kus magada ja ringi liikuda, inimestega nende eludest. Sellises viibimises on kohtumisi selle s6braga, kes on yhenduslyli, Leon - 6pime teda tudma, s6prade kaudu. Ja samas on teada, et see on minevik. Praegu on tema juba mujal, Arizonas.

    Rabelesime end toas puhkamisest v2lja ja l2ksime Xochimilcosse, mis on selle suure linna kylje all olev v2iksem kohake, kus on palju vett ja kanaleid. Paljude tagaaiaks on vesi, koos paadikesega, millega s6itma minnakse. Kanaleil on ujuvad toidukohad ja suurtel paatidel peetakse pidusid.
    Syrreaalne on n2ha surnud koeri, pinnale kerkinud ja paisunud... ja siis natuke maad edasi hyppavad lapsed koos kingade ja teksadega vette, sulpsti!
    Vesi on pruun. Prahti on ka n2ha.
    Need poisid, kes aerutavad, on tugevate rinna- ja k2elihastega. Ja need, kellega meie kohtusime, on "k22bikud", nagu naljatades taipasime. Meie Sandriga oleme Inimesed P6hjast. S6rmuste Isand on siin m2nguks.
    Naine on kummaline olla, kui mehed ymber on nii lyhikesed. Tekib tahtmine olla pisem...
    Mis seal's ikka, selg tuleb sirgu ajada ja edasi astuda,
    kohtusime ka poisiga, kes on kyll mehhiklane, kuid pikkuse poolest Inimene:)

    Sai t6detud koos, et
    mehhiko-viis suhelda on h2sti s6bralik ja avatud, k6ik on kohe amigod...,
    aga see on selline tulev ja minev yhendus. EI hakata hingeasjadest jutustama.
    Ja vahest on tunne nii yksik. Surud endas ka alla need teemad, mis p2evakorral justkui pole..
    P6hjamaine, v6i siis minu ja venna arusaamine ja yhendumine on seestkaudu - see on nii, et tunned s6bra hinges 2ra ja pole vaja pikalt bla-bla'tada, saab kohe l2hedane olla. Ja see tunne on hoopis toitvam. On hoolimise tunne.
    Tuleb julgeda valida siin,
    mitte ainult mehhiklaste kulgemisega kaasa minna,
    sest see v6ib l6ppeda kahetunnise autos6iduga sinna, kuhu k6nides j6uaks 10 minutiga. Ja vahepeal sai kyll kohtutud mingite inimestega, kes mingeid asju ajavad... Aga on selline loksumine ja hajevil olemine.
    See on v2sitav.
    6pin julgema ytlema - STOP! EI, see pole praegu see, mida ma tahan.

    Mehhiko on olnud voolamine. On olnud alistumine ja vastu v6tmine. Selles on omajagu uitamist ja siis v2sinud olemist. See on kuidagi kaval, et voolamine justkui hea, aga kui selles pole selgust ja sihti, siis on see omamoodi raiskamine.

    Nyyd siis l2heme Kanadasse, kuhu tahtsin juba alguses ka minna. Ringiga. L2heme p6hja.

    Keha ja meel tuletavad meelde,
    et saab olla kerge ja inspiratsiooniline,
    et tuleb lasta endast lahti.

    2rgata unest, mis on illusioon.
    K6igepealt lubad minna negatiivsel.
    Siis lubad minna positiivsel.
    Tagasiteed ei ole.

    11 April 2009


    Selleks, et kergeks saada tuleb lihtsalt v2hem syya ja juua - nii lihtne see ongi.
    Valisin enese reaalsuseks neli p2eva kaunis kaljusopis, kus ruumi vaid kehapikkuse jagu et pimedal aal puhata, olla neli p2eva ja 88d ilma toidu- ja veekraami tarbimata.

    N6nda siis meid viidigi m2e otsa ja seal ma siis istusin.
    Suheldes P2ikesega.
    Suheldes taevaga.

    Suheldes k6ikide kirevate lindudega, kotkaste ja koolibridegagi.

    Suheldes puudega.
    Suheldes katkuste ning 6itega.

    Suheldes 8iste t2htede ning kauni kuuga.

    Suheldes enesega.

    On huvtav t6deda, et pea on ikka yks paras tegelane kyll. Muudkui ketrab p2evad l2bi igast pahna. V6tab pea kolm 88d-p2eva, et olukord rahuneks, ning siis hakkab sinu keha nalja viskama, sest talle tundub et oled kuidagi viimasel ajal v2ga paikseks j22nud, ning vedelik ja muud kraami liigub v2lja rohkem kui sisse tuuakse. Kas hakkab surm tulema - - v6din, v2rin.

    Koolipingis 6pitud t6de, et inimene kes on kolm kuni neli p2eva ilma veeta on sama h2sti kui surnud, ei vastanud sugugi t6ele. Oleks rahulikult p2evaksese v6i pisikese pingutusega ka kaks veel suutnud olla.

    Kergesti v6ib tekkida kysimus, et miks kyll kallis inimene sa sellist v2rki enesele korraldad.

    Vastaksin s2ravate silmadega, et aga miks mitte. Kui pole proovinud, siis ka ei tea.

    Nyyd ma siis tean, kui v2he ma tegelikult vajan.
    Nyyd ma tean, et m6tteselgus ning energia liikumine on n6nda paljuski s6ltuv sellest, mida parajasti oleme otsustanud k6husoppi sokutada.
    Nyyd ma tean, et minus on midagi millest ma midagi veel ei tea.

    Nyyd ma m6istan, kui helde ja hea on meie suhtes emakene maa oma k6igi andidega.

    Ka see sai selgeks, kuidas jahedast 6htu6hust v2rskust koguda.

    Ning arvan et yyrikesteks hetkedeks suutsin ka t2iesti m6tlemise peatada, v6i siis viia see v2ga madalale sagedusele.

    Selguse hetkedel kaob k6hust tyhjus, meelest iha ja meeltest tunded - on vaid yks - on k6ik.

    K6ik see oli reaalsus veel n2dal tagasi, kuid istusin oma m6ne kodinaga seal m2e otsas.
    T6esti veelkord tahan toonitada kui v2he me tegelikult vajame, ning mis on meie harjumus.
    Loodus on suureks toeks ja inspiratsiooniks sel teel. Kes v2hegi suudab ja soovib - minge 6ue, tantsige taevaga ning nautige iseenast 2rkava kevade nooruslikus embuses.

    Tunnen suurt erinevust, kuna k6ike seda kirjutan maailma yhest suurimast betoonmetsast - Mehhiko Linnast, mis praegusel hetkel on pea inimtyhi - k6ik kes v2hegi linnast v2lja p22sesid on t2histamas Jessukese lugu kuskil kaunil rannal l8sutades v6i kirikuid m88da kummardades ning oma otseses m6istes risti kandes. Mida suurem, seda suurem :D

    Madre de Mexico - Gueadalupe
    Padre de Mexico - Jesus

    N6nda toimib see kaunis ja syrreaalne riik. K6iges oma puhtuses ja prygis, valguses ja varjus ning vabaduses ja ilus.


    fresh sensation

    What happened? I ask, cause it feels different today morning. New feeling. Like some things I have forget and some things have changed. I don't remember the dreams, but I feel the feeling.

    I woke up in the city, with 25 million people around. Before I fell asleep there was loud music around, people partying and haveing their enjoyment. Smokes. Drinks. You know..., city-life in friday evening... Walking in and out..., this is a place where everybody comes... Travellers, by-passers. We are here as well. But 9 people who are also living here are on the beach now, vacation for them.
    So, with Sander, we cleaned the kitchen and the living room and bathroom, to be able to survive here. What a shit people can create really! It is a good experience to see it! And clean it!
    I feel in a way we are a clean-up team, travelling in the world.
    I like it.

    Nights are long,
    I do are a lot in the internet in these days as well. It feels like I need it now. I am reading something, finding something, getting inspired. And getting tired as well. I am accepting.
    This is also all me,
    after 5 months on the road, in the nature, in the sleeping bag,
    it is such a relief to crush into somebody's bed,
    to take care of the stressed cat and to see prostitutes on the street. And do lasagne in the oven.

    The next city is waiting for us.
    The next country is there to recieve.
    And the world is there to trust.
    My dream.
    Life = Dream
    I have to take care of it.

    You can be whoever you want to be. It is all in your mind.
    My life, our lives are teaching us to see and meet with the world, which is so full of everything, is so dual. It is ugly and it is beautiful, it is inspiring and it is tiring. And it is evergoing. There is no way out of life when you are alive. And once you have seen some things, there is no turning back. You can't forget.
    It is damn hard sometimes,
    but it makes you smile and go on and
    what is there,
    behind the next curve.

    I write in English
    as it is possible.
    I hope all the Estonians will be able to read it. And when not, then this is an exercise, to broad the mind. To find a way to understand.
    Estonian is inside always. Now I am just changing this what comes out. The form. It is nothing.
    I can think in both of those languages now,
    sometimes a bit in spanish as well.

    Mother of Mexico just provided us papaya, mangos, guayabas and limes - our breakfast.
    We might as well go out now,
    take some metros and go somewhere we haven't been yet,
    meeting somebody we haven't met yet. He might be called Oscar.

    The World is stopped by deaths and births.
    New life cathed my feeling now. Kadri, the girl from the seat next to me, from highschool, from University..., she is on the wave of meeting with somebody, who is totally new! It is wonderful! It is....,
    it makes me laugh and cry,
    it makes me to realize how big gifts Life has for us,
    we can live and choose.

    Life is to live, not to ear living.
    In Estonian it would be like:
    Elu on elamiseks, mitte elatise teenimiseks.

    Elu ei ole selleks, et teha midagi, mis ei vaimusta, lihtsalt sellep2rast, et raha saada. Nojah, eks seda tuleb selleks teha, et aru saada, et seda ei taha teha... :)
    life is not here to do something which doesn't touch you inside, just to make money.. Well, well, you might need to do it in order to understand that you don't want to do it anymore!
    go for it!


    06 April 2009

    Biology book made a mistake...

    ... I can now tell for sure that it is possible to stay alive for four days without eating and drinking anything. And more than that - it is very inspiring, it is a travel into yourself, it is an experience which can show you things more clear and bright. It is all up to you.

    I had to build every day a non-permanent shadow from my sleeping bag - it was just so strong there. And I felt how important is to keep the water what I have inside, not to sweat so much...
    After the mid-day sun went behind the cliff, which was just behind me, on the west side.
    This is a blessing.

    Breathing is essential. You have to breath out in order to breath in. It is the same in life in general - you have to give to get and you have to recieve to give. Endless process.
    Cold breeze is like a water which gives you freshness and energy. I am somebody who likes some cold around me. Sun in here is nice.., but the feeling that coldness gives to you, is just different. The whole life is different based on what you breath in and out.

    I met with myself. What can I do when there are so many thoughts in my head that I just can stop them and they won´t let me to go to sleep... Afterwards I heard that it is not easy to fall asleep because something in you feels the closeness of death. For sure, I am more close to the death than in a "usual day", it is my decicion. And this something tries to keep you awake... All the thoughts just come there and chill around...
    Even the birds seem to talk so loud and much.
    But there is nothing else to do than to surrender.

    Sometimes I was weak.
    Sometimes I stood up and I made some exercises and I felt so clear and easy.
    I met with the Eagles.
    I met the Tiger inside.
    I met with the Angels.
    It is as much real as it is not real.
    It is all inside and all outside.

    What there is you have in your life?
    Even your life is not really yours. You born and you die. Do you choose it conciously? Some do.
    Is there a free will which is mine?
    May be.

    I am grateful that I am alive.
    I decided to find my new favourite shoes and a skirt and to go and paint out there, maybe in Canada. And I will do some music and meet with friends and there are no fears - all is possible.

    Thank you World, for being here,
    it is so dual,
    so, there is nothing else to love it,
    to let it be.

    I met with my past. Native americans.
    It is presence as well.
    I am going from here,
    all there is to meet,
    is me,
    the world.

    Steps on the planet Earth