Öös on Lõhnu

Kas oled vahel tähele pannud, et mingi teatud lõhn tekitab sinus erilise tunde. Siis miski meenub, taastunnetad ning kujutad ette inimesi ja hetki, samal ajal saab loodud tühjus, millesse mahub rõõm ja selge mõistmine olemasolust ja praegustest aroomidest. Peale tugevaid vihmahooge on loodus eriti külluslik ja kiirgav.
Lausa lummav oma öiste laulude ja aurumängudega. Saapad jalga ja lõhnaradadele ütles mulle mu süda. Läbi kõrge rohu mäejalami poole sammudes tuli minuni Maa tunne. See oli väga avar ning kindel. Kaugele ulatuvad põllud laulsid viljakusest ning kindlusest, ning meel ühines esi-isade visiooniga jätkusuutlikust ning tugevast maa-kultuurist. Taevas paistis suure valgusena planeet Marss, naaber ju meile, nii hea on teda ikka vahel näha on.

Uuesti need lõhnad, veepiiskadest külluslikud ja suve-eetrist pungil. Tõeline loomenektar kõigile kel meeldib öistel radadel liikuda. Enam ei ole minus hirmu öisest metsast, nüüd laulab minus uudishimu ja rahulikkus neis paigus elavate elude ja olude suhtes.

Udu tõusis mõne hetkega kõrgele, avarast vaatest sai tükikene stsenaariumist "Siil udus". Mmm, hämmastav on see ilm.

Jätkasin kõndismist ning peatusin veelkord et kuulatada, et ühenduda, et olla. Koer Tommi oli minu ustavaks saatjaks, temagi oli uudsest olust ärevil, tavaliselt keegi sellistel hetkedel kahejalgsetest kepi- või palliviskajatest õue peal ringi ju ei konda..~;)
Jagasin veelkord tähelepanu kõige ümbristeva ning minuga ühenduses olevaga, kui korraga tõusis metsast lendu kakuline. ÖÖkull arvasin ma~ Olin rõõmust kohkunud ning jälgisin teda ürglikus valmisolekus kuid samal ajal armastavast uudishimust ning kohtumisrõõmust kantuna. Ta tegi minu pea kohal paar sametist tiiru. Nõnda puhas oli ta lend, nii pehme ja kindel ning siis läks ta oma öistele teedele, või oleks paslikum lausuda öistele õhkudele ~

Jätkuvalt oli kõikjal udu, lõhnad lajatamas mu meeli värskuselaengutega. Tundsin, kuidas minus avanes öölille õis. Armastan seda kõike nii väga.
Jõudsin tuppa, maja oli vaiki. Kõik Ilma potentsiaalid on puhastumas ning mõtete ja energiate kanalid on avarad. Istusin ja vaatlesin Himaalaja soolakivist kumavat punakat valgust.

Nõnda hea oli lihtsalt olla ja hingata, jätsin mütsi ja õhtulõhnalise jaki.
Võimalik, et sel võis olla midagi seost päevasel ajal reisuloo sõnastamise alustamisega. Rännutee avastamised ning kogemused tulid minu peale. Väga eredalt kerkisid esile kallid inimesed kellega mul oli rõõm ja vabadus suhestuda ning olu ja leiba jagada. See kõik oli nõnda intensiivne, et ümrbritsev näis hajuvat ning kõik plaanitud lahkus meeltest.

Tahan sellega tänada kõiki elusolendeid ja Emakest Maad, mille pinnal Me kõik selle kõigega kohtuda saame. Südant kuhu kõik see ära mahub, ning Ruumi kus alati on ruumi avardavateks elu-üllatusteks.


Sander ÖÖs t Õekesele Marianile seal Vankuuveri saarel siirusi saatmas )'(

Iga p2ev on uus. Every day is new.

Mis synnib ilmas on enne syndi juba olemas.
Sinu silmad n2evad siis, kui hakkad vaatama.
Keha liigub, kui paned ta liikuma.
Jookse kui loom, paljajalu ja pehmelt.
Mine yles m2est, kui saad valida m2eta tee.
Vaata silma, ka tundmatule m88dujale.
V88rastest saavad tuttavad, kui peatud ja kohtud.

What borns in the world, is there before the birth.
Your eyes will see when you start to look.
Body moves when you push it into movement.
Run as an animal, barefoot and soft.
Go up the hill, when you can choose plain road.
Look into the eyes, even to an unknown bypasser.
Strangers become friends when you stop and meet with them.


~


Istun kivil, silmad ookeani poole, udu on mu ymber. N2en piiskasid 6hus. Ja p2ike paistab, kollane ja hall on ilm. Kiirgus sumeduses, p2evaajal.
Viskan kyynla Vanaema Ookeanile. Lasen lahti.
Viskan shokolaadi Vanaema Ookeanile. Lasen lahti.
Talle pidavat see meeldima.
Talle meeldib ka palju muud. See, kui ma l2hen ja k6nnin m66nalagedal rannal, kivid jalge all. Pisemad kaldapool, suuremad merepool. Aja ja vee t88, nii n2htav.
K6iksugused kivid.
Igayhes ilu.
Surnud hyljes. Ta maised j22nused. Pekk ja nahk ja natuke luid. Ei tea enam, kus pea, kus saba.
Sulg talle austuseks. Kaks kivi, teineteise peal - selliseid sambaid ladusin ta ymber.
Vend Hyljes, ta surma austan. Surm siin, mu elu sees.
Ja seal Krabi. Koivad pysti. L2iklevad silmad peatunud.
Veel yks surm.

Olen elus.
Jooksen koju.
Jooksen nii, et kannad ei puutu maad.
Olen terve.


Eesti keel.
Salakeel.
V6lukeel.
Kyll on kaval, et syndisin sellesse ilma seal, kus pisikene rahvas r22gib haldjakeelt. Kus pole vahet, kas on mees v6i hoopis naine. Sest on ykssama see, vaim ju sees.
Et on v2he miljardite hulgas neid, kes saavad aru sest v2ljendusest. See on kaitstus.

N2gin Fight Club filmi.
Miskit muutus mu sees. Nagu iga p2ev. Ja n2gin yht uut kylge. Kogemaks. Vaatamaks.
Vahest m6istan rohkem. M6istan teda, kes v6itleb nii, et reegleid ei ole. Ja maha j22b see, mida kanda pole vaja.


Trykimasin laual. Palju h22lt ta teeb.
Kirjutan loojangup2ikses. K88gis kook.
Aidaa.
Alleaa.

White Room and Address!

As the angels told me to be patient about finding my home... and all I could really do was to wait and be aware.... this is what happened - I found my room, my place and space with wooden floor and it is close to the ocean and there is a fireplace in the house, artroom, good kitchen and most of all - warm family! Catherine is our Queen, she has daughter and son living in the house and then a young couple, Jack just got 19 yesterday..
All different people, but we are united by this house and it feels so great to be here. I feel like they take care of me as I take care of them. And goodnight hugs and things... Oh, I love to learn to know people with each day. And I practice coming Home. It is hard to say it out loud, but I learn.
I painted the room white, light-yellow ceiling is shining like a sun...

I unpacked my bag after 8 months on the road.
I felt sad a bit... and the adventures in Mexico seem like a dream now...horses and mountains..people and their issues...oh! And nature! I looked at my sleeping bag and decided that I have to wish to use it again in the near future. As I am now in Canada, there is lots to see!

My address is now:

Marian Hiire
354 Moss St.
Victoria BC
V8V 4N1
Canada

All the letters are warmly welcomed!


As I walked on the street of Victoria today, with Jenna and Ty, I understood that it is good to be wherever I am. Even in the city. In the middle of people who are all doing their things, thinking their thoughts.. I can breath. Smile. Move. This is life. It doesn't matter so much where I am - everything is everywhere. Peace inside.


Meanwhile I have touched the Olympic Gold medal - two half-Estonians, young guys, who won golden medal in Men 8+ rowing in Beijing, they were in Estonian Picnic last weekend. I got a chance to read them a prayer in pure Estonian, to talk with old ladies (for some reason women were the oldest, men dead), who had escaped from the Second World War, to Sweden, Germany..and eventually to Canada. Herring and black bread - felt like in Estonia, but still in Canada. They say that you can find an Estonian in every port in the World. It might be true. There is some at least in here now. It is a port :)


Yesterday I drove by from friends place to fix my bike a bit.. and what I saw was a dead deer on the table - I mean skin and carcass and lots of meat. Guts were there in another bin and head. And feet.
I sat and watched for a while. And then I took a knife and started to skin the skin...to remove flesh from it, to get it clean and nice. Wow! I learned so much. I found out that I know... that I know deep inside how to do it. The Deer teached me with her presence. I am grateful.
And on this day I was fasting too. Strong smells.
But this is life - you take it as it comes - with all the surprises!
I love it!



Here and now,
I go for a hunt!
Food will be on the table for everybody ~
;)

Life on the Flow

I am in the process of learning how to live so that there is no home. There is no actual place where I go every day and have my stuff organized and set. I have put down my bag in one house, Fernwood-House, and as one of the guys, Georgio, is always at her girlfriends place, I can sleep at his bed. But the house is sometimes so crowded that I do not feel enough space there, so I go somewhere else. It happens that I go along with Tyler who is couchsurfing-living in Redfern-House - there I have spent my nights. My paiting is there too. And then now I met with people, mother, her children (at my age) and a young couple - they live near to the sea, in a big house. They called me to their art-night and I ended up sleeping in an empty room they haven't rented out yet. So, so far this is the best spot to be to have some space..\

And Today made a gift for me - I decided to follow my little Marian and she told me to go and play, to put together some puzzle, to read, to make two pigtails with my hair and to take it all easy... This day then brought an accordion to my life too. In this last house, it can be called Moss-House (cause it is on Moss street), this Beauty, white accordion with golden keys instead of black ones, made in Italy, just waited me to open its box. It seems that I am in love of accordion. The sound! It can be so long, so sensitive, so meditative! I am gonna follow this path in music, I do hope so! Maybe I can even go and do some busking!

Oh!
Full Moon again just passed by. I celebrated that with this gorgeous Estonian lady, such a free communication-flow, mainly in English, still in Estonian too (her parents were Estonians, language from 30-ties or so (before the second war)), nice mixture! Anyways, that is great how people can be so connected, in one hand just because they share the nationality (then comes the question - what is that?) and also, we share the understanding about life. I like to talk with old people who have learned some great stuff in their lives already. I kind of feel old too. Older than some others are, who are actually at my age. It is satisfying to be able to loose all those age-barriers and just be, be spiritually connected. Some kids are wiser than some old folks.
Oh, and this Estonian Lady has a son.
As I talked with him, I learned and realized how important is to feel connected in the heart level. I guess I have been looking for mind-intellectual similarities with peope some time ago. Then I was intrigued when somebody had some knowledge about spirituality and this k6ssa-m6ssa... and now it seems to me that what really matters is how we live our lives daily. How we are able to smile even if we have no idea how we are going to pay the rent for the next month.. and even if we do not know where are we going to sleep tonight... This wisdom of life - how to be in balance, how to observe one's feelings and thoughts and not to get too serious about them, just to let them be, teach and release... And then how to interact with the people around you - with whom to be, how to express yourself, how to say no to somebody even if you want to be nice and all this... but to realize that sometimes being honest with yourself means that you might dissapoint somebody else cause you are not following her\his expectations. The truth is that we are not responsible for other people's expetations. They choose their thoughts, they create their issues. We just have to be honest and sincere and talk clearly and with love and compassion. And if there are dramas around, then they are there to be handled with care and compassion, but there is no need to really go along with them and put our own energy into them - it just feeds the wolf who doesn't have to be fed. This is honesty. And it can be harsh. It is necessary.


It feels so different to write today. Like writing to somebody. Everybody. Like writing a magazine. Maybe my brain started to work differently. Cause I talked with my inner child. She sesems pretty young there. Though, it seems that she can be in different ages too. It is just a matter of approach. Heh, she has always been kind of older than she is supposed to be. And actually, she likes to play, even while being so "old" and smart...


Anyways (what an expression! which I have started to use, because of those ship-guys ...). Those 45 feet long masts (main and foremast) and other sticks like booms and gaffs are now moved to a random's guys backyard (we just knocked on his door yesterday cause he had a small wooden boat in a back of his house and we ended up saying that we need a place to keep our masts and he just said that his yard is big enough and when we invite him to a party thats all what he really needs in return... :) - miracles do happen every day! It was funny too, cause Tyler just picked an Angel's card before going out and it was "Miracles". Thanks Angels! I like trusting you!

Being grounded is a mission in those days. For lots of people. Some say that I am grounding for them. So I keep on working with my own stability and Earth connection, to be able to help others with my presence. This is why we, humans, are for each other - to support and inspire and care and Love. I find it challenging sometimes. It is a magical mission though. Specially when seen as a game. Game of Life!


Seems like a long sharing here now.
In English too.
This language is more and more natural for me. I like learning it and I like to improve my writing and talking skills. I observe my brain and mouth working differently than ever before.
I do believe that Estonian is not going to get lost either. My poems and songs are still in Estonian mostly. And letters to people. I am just happy that there is this other language in me now, which I can use with ease, I am able to connect with people trough that!
All Estonians, reading those lines,
thank you for challenging yourselves. I hope that you understand! And you are allowed to say it out loud when I seem arrogant to you in this matter. Just be sure that I am still just who I am. Connected to you.


I feel grateful that you read my writings. It is a gift for me when somebody finds something from those lines. Kadri just said beautiful words to me. Thank you! I do my best to recieve compliments. I take it as a lesson and life offers me this in those days. I have heard some songs about myself, how my presence is appreciated... and thanks and hugs. And through that I learn how to be neutral in myself with that. How to be grateful, but not to stick my nose high up. And also not to be fed with those nice words and not to be dependant on those. Cause I am. I just am. And I am not nice because I like when people like me. I mean, it is good to get well along with people, but I find it tireing to act and to try to be somebody I really am not. So, when I want to be silent, I am. And when I want to go, I just go, without waiting people's approval and without feeling a need to explain and apologise myself. I found myself being pretty stupid sometimes. Actually it is such a releaf to be able to be in peace with myself even if I act stupid one in a while... :)

I sound funny to myself now,
so,
I guess it is time to go to bed.

I love the smell of the air. Humid and fresh.
House is asleep
and I have a room and a bed to go just now - feels great! I can imagine that it is my home tonight! Simple as that! :) Life in eternal Now! :D



Blessings~
Prayers~
World is round!

God knows / Jumal teab

What now
when brother is in Estonia?
I am here.
Asking where is my home.
And answer is still - I am wind on the field.
Homeless.
Just with me.
So,
is this the end of our travel or just another step into the unknown future, on the Path of Light?
Our creation,
Semiluuto,
has served us well.
Has been around, with us, with you.
Where it all goes?
God knows.


Mis siis nyyd,
n2ed, vend on Eestimaal,
ses taskuriigis.
Mina siin, mere kaldal,
kysin, kus on mu kodu
ja vastuseks kuulen tuult - olen ikka tuul v2ljal.
Kus kyll on hinge kodu?
Mis on see siis nyyd - kas me reisi l6pp v6i hoopis j2rgmine samm Valguse Teel?
Semiluuto on olnud heas teenistuses, nii meile, nii teile.
Kuhu l2heb rada?
Jumal teab.

Taaskord Edasi

Üle Merede ja Saarte, ookeani ja vahuste pilvede tõi mind tiivuline Euroopasse~ Siis kevad oli noor ning Mai oli kakskümmend ja kuus. Prantsusmaa mind hoidis, Püreneede mäed kosutasid ja pakkusid varju ja vett ning selginemise ruumi.  Lumised tipud ühes end vaatleva reisikaaslasega Saksamaalt. Hääletamise mõru/magus teekond läbi Andorra, maksuvabad oliivid ja šokolaad põue ning vihma ja äikese saatel laskusime Hispaania valda. Salamanca - üli kooli ja üli peo linn. Kordumatu tänaval pilkude kohtumise ja öömaja küsimuse ära langemise mitteametlik rekord, Klassiõega kohtumine Eestist. Soojus Soojus Soojus.   Siis tuli otsuseks Rootsi~ Vipassana meditatsioonilaager. Hääletamine sinnapoole.. Madrid...Linna kinni jäämine...Aitab hääletamisest (mõru higine ja janune kuid suupilliga) ... Barcelona... Vahemeri... Vaatlemine . Lendamine ~~ Kopenhaageni Kargus~  Kontaktide hardus, Religioossed seiklused, Risti, Krishna ja Kõikse valdades... Toakaaslane Rasmus ja Maria Ollerupi hetkedest... LõheKook ... Suur lõunapakk, motiveeritud ja ärksad silmad, Hääletamise algus... Rootsi ... Peavalu Algus... Tanklate toidu söömine ... Jupisõidud... Äärmuslike seksuaalsete vaadetega autojuht ... VIhmasadu ... Peavalu ... Bussisõit ... Öö telgis ..  Imelikud pool reaalsused, tundmused. Uus päev, Meditatsioonilaagri algus pisikeses Paigas.. 10 päeva vaikust ja vaatlemist, Siddharta Gautama õpetusõnu Vipassana meditatsioonist ja muustki läbi härra Goenka sõnade ja olemuse. Peavalu kadumine .. Hea toit.. Varajane ärkamine, Hoolikas praktika.. Tee kogemine, alustamine.. Päevade kadumine, aja transformeerumine, vaikuse avanemine. Meele koorumine... Selginemine, tugevnemine.. koti raskuseta olemine.. Rääkimise alustamine, teekaaslastega kohtumine, kaaseestalse kohtamine, soome neiuga ühte mõistmine reisimise ja elu vaatluse koha pealt, Stockholm, Riia, Must Leib ja Või ... Pärnu, Hääletamise Rõõm Taskuriigis Eesti, Ootamatu koduõuele astumine ~~~

Rahulik Jaanik

Koolide Vibra

Tartu, Sõbrad Pillerin Jordan Ellen Mihkel Egon Saskia ning üllatuspilgud ja rõõmud

Tartu Kunstikooli Fotosse kandideerimine,  Sõbra julgustus, Uued pliiatsid ja pintslid.. Esimesed Portreed ja Maalid .. Kolm Pikka päeva eksamitemeditatsiooni... Motiveeriv vestlus... Kandidaadi 232 Riiklikule kohale aksepteerimine...

Vanaisaga Puude ladumine ja sõjajutu puhumine, hobuste jutu puhumine~~~

Nojah~   Kallid Inimesed Oleme ikka õnnelikud küll, et Elame ;D       Sander Liigvallast