Healing Tears

Life becomes so real when a guy who seems usually a bit distant and in his own world, calling me crazy, comes into the house and just falls to the couch, tears in his eyes. He broke up with the girl and he is so wasted that he doesn't like that at all... And all of a sudden all the sadness and stories of his life are alltogether, so real and strong. I stop my writing and I go and sit down to him, feeling so serious, wishing to help him.
He has done his best but that wasn't enough. All his efforts seem to be wasted.
He wants to be drunk and waisted as hell, cause there is nothing else he can see.
And I feel sad, understanding and sharing his feelings.
Yet, as he feels so weak and unworthy, I see it as a strength. I thank him for being so strong in his weakness.

I make a tea. Sudden strength comes into me. I am so grateful to him to open up so much. I feel connection now and I feel a calling from his soul. This makes me realize that my calling to be a healer is again right. That my sorrows and sadnesses are so small. My life this time is meant to be for serving the others, my own growth and learning comes through that. I am here to walk over the bridges and to give hands.

And as I found this inspiration to help him in his situation I also realized that this is the way I am supposed to help myself when I feel low, sad and useless.
There is always Light to choose. Path of the Light is waiting for us. We just are blinded with our sorrows and stories that we turn our eyes from that, even when we are aware of this option.

It is easy to turn and connect with another wound, with another hurt-one. To find a similar shadow.
It takes courage to look higher, to look into the light and to stretch your back and go pass your fears and dramas.
This is why we are here, on the Earth.
To find a path to the Light.
We try to kill ourselves, to drink, to smoke, to eat bad, to take drugs... just because we do not love ourselves. Just because we think we are not worthy. Worthy of things to come into our lives with ease and joy and glory.
We continue creating misery and disappointment into our lives with our thoughts.
It is hard to face that. To take responsibility of our thoughts and acts.
Still.
It is there, waiting to take a lead, to choose and to be free.

I tell it all to myself again and again. I find new proofs to that and it sinks into me deeper and deeper. Why can't I get it all at once and will be free, will be enlighted... This is just the way things work on the Earth. It is slow. But steady.
Surrendering is the key.


It is so hard to let go of the need to do much. To rush. To Do Something Important!
I think this is the sickness of our world.
Gladly, there is a girl, woman, in my house, Elizabeth. And being with her is like doing nothing. It is like choosing less. Choosing a path into simplicity and clarity. People do not like less. People like more. That is why she is not seen by many, not connected with many. But she is. And I am learning to see her. And together we teach each other. I encourage her and she encourages me.

People are mysterious. Never judge or assume anything. Just listen to them. Let your thoughts go. Let it be.


/I found Deva Premal "Love is Space" from the street. Listening./