What do I like tonight?

Here are layers of sight. 

Light and Shadows.

Patterns of Eternity.

Fractals of the Nature.

Passion.

Seen in

Haapsalu

Estonia

2008

The Day What Ran Its Course

Keys of my home were left under the snowdrops. One small girl from the house found them. My neighbour called me and asked if I have lost my keys.
"They were supposed to be there, my friends left them there."
"I will take them and be at home when you come."
"All right."

I am coming, through a hole on the fence of other-street-neighbours-house-garden. I try not to step on the islands of snow - so there will be no trace. I succeed. Drops of water dripping on me from the trees. It is dark. It is wet.
And then, when I want to leap over the last snow-island, I feel I am sinking into the mud, so I make a quick step.... and end up leaving a mark on the snow. I hope it melts away from the morning.

There is a plastic bag hanging on the door and there is a note inside the bag: "Our daughter found keys under the snowdrops. Pearl is the keyholder. If you want them, call...."

I got the keys and this is the end of this adventure.


Movie "Limits of Control" was the last one I saw. A friend who is studying animation took me with her to see this piece of art behind the locked doors and authorized entry only... - rooms of Estonian Academy of Arts. Nighttime.
It was great.
If you have enough peace in your mind, you might find it pleasurable.







http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1135092/

Now

*

Hey dear Friend

Please be who you are

Please say what you want

From the heart

I don't hear lies

I don't see ties

All I know

Is here and now

There's time to grow

There's time to bow

There's time to bloom

There's time to mourn

Ref:

Find, find, find what you need

Blind, blind, blind - you will see

*

(Inspired from a talk with Belgian bagpipe man Stefan Timmermans,

written on my way home on the street while walking.

It is a song.)

24.03.2010

Tallinn

White Sails

This is the last week when all of us (boat crew) are together, working towards getting the sails ready to sail. Big white clouds have fulfilled the living room of Redfern residence. Some of the roommates are getting a bit tired about climbing over them and seeing us so caught up in the process. So, amongst the work with the sails, we have to work on human relationships too. And actually this is something more valuable and long-term thing than the sails. They come and go, break down and get fixed again and again.

I walk home in the nights. Empty streets. Filled with random free stuff. Stars.

Fall is in the air. Sweet sadness of leaving. Leaves are leaving the trees too.
There is something so special and beautiful in that. Maybe the tears. Maybe the realization about the seasons and how things come, bloom and then go. And there is this space to look back and see what have you done and you can see all the stories there. Fun times and confusing times and through all that I see how I have made friends, how I have found trust.
Just yesterday when I was driving with Dylan's car, on a mission of picking things and people up and down, I felt that all this has come into my life here, in this summer. I have spent the summer here!
I am inside the life.
And I went along to a free concert last night in downtown. Biking downthehill in fresh and goodsmelling night full of lights.
I stood there. And I saw people I had seen before. Familiarity.
Tartu, the University-Town in Estonia, this feeling came to me - everybody knows everybody and everywhere you go, there is somebody you have met before. It feels like being in a family. It is very various and you will never know what will happen next.
I like this feeling of being alive in all that, being able to hug people, to say something good to them, to enjoy this life, move my body in the music and take some risks...

Heh,
Jason said that we can climb the bridge. The blue bridge which will rise up when the boats want to go trough. I thought I might not be able to do it. That I might be afraid. But I went along. With Megan and Jason. And there I was, on top of the metal construction, feeling every car who drove over the bridge... thinking for a second what will happen when the bridge will start to move....
and then letting go. Accepting and enjoying it.
Sneaking around the laws and fences... this can be freedom in mind.

In the middle of the night I biked back. Stopped in the footballfield and did Five Tibetian exercises. Every night I have done them in different places in recent days. Park. Cemetary. Footballfield. Garden.
Feels great to overcome disturbing thoughts and just do it, even when I am tired, even when the day is about to end... To live.

To live, not to survive!

Öös on Lõhnu

Kas oled vahel tähele pannud, et mingi teatud lõhn tekitab sinus erilise tunde. Siis miski meenub, taastunnetad ning kujutad ette inimesi ja hetki, samal ajal saab loodud tühjus, millesse mahub rõõm ja selge mõistmine olemasolust ja praegustest aroomidest. Peale tugevaid vihmahooge on loodus eriti külluslik ja kiirgav.
Lausa lummav oma öiste laulude ja aurumängudega. Saapad jalga ja lõhnaradadele ütles mulle mu süda. Läbi kõrge rohu mäejalami poole sammudes tuli minuni Maa tunne. See oli väga avar ning kindel. Kaugele ulatuvad põllud laulsid viljakusest ning kindlusest, ning meel ühines esi-isade visiooniga jätkusuutlikust ning tugevast maa-kultuurist. Taevas paistis suure valgusena planeet Marss, naaber ju meile, nii hea on teda ikka vahel näha on.

Uuesti need lõhnad, veepiiskadest külluslikud ja suve-eetrist pungil. Tõeline loomenektar kõigile kel meeldib öistel radadel liikuda. Enam ei ole minus hirmu öisest metsast, nüüd laulab minus uudishimu ja rahulikkus neis paigus elavate elude ja olude suhtes.

Udu tõusis mõne hetkega kõrgele, avarast vaatest sai tükikene stsenaariumist "Siil udus". Mmm, hämmastav on see ilm.

Jätkasin kõndismist ning peatusin veelkord et kuulatada, et ühenduda, et olla. Koer Tommi oli minu ustavaks saatjaks, temagi oli uudsest olust ärevil, tavaliselt keegi sellistel hetkedel kahejalgsetest kepi- või palliviskajatest õue peal ringi ju ei konda..~;)
Jagasin veelkord tähelepanu kõige ümbristeva ning minuga ühenduses olevaga, kui korraga tõusis metsast lendu kakuline. ÖÖkull arvasin ma~ Olin rõõmust kohkunud ning jälgisin teda ürglikus valmisolekus kuid samal ajal armastavast uudishimust ning kohtumisrõõmust kantuna. Ta tegi minu pea kohal paar sametist tiiru. Nõnda puhas oli ta lend, nii pehme ja kindel ning siis läks ta oma öistele teedele, või oleks paslikum lausuda öistele õhkudele ~

Jätkuvalt oli kõikjal udu, lõhnad lajatamas mu meeli värskuselaengutega. Tundsin, kuidas minus avanes öölille õis. Armastan seda kõike nii väga.
Jõudsin tuppa, maja oli vaiki. Kõik Ilma potentsiaalid on puhastumas ning mõtete ja energiate kanalid on avarad. Istusin ja vaatlesin Himaalaja soolakivist kumavat punakat valgust.

Nõnda hea oli lihtsalt olla ja hingata, jätsin mütsi ja õhtulõhnalise jaki.
Võimalik, et sel võis olla midagi seost päevasel ajal reisuloo sõnastamise alustamisega. Rännutee avastamised ning kogemused tulid minu peale. Väga eredalt kerkisid esile kallid inimesed kellega mul oli rõõm ja vabadus suhestuda ning olu ja leiba jagada. See kõik oli nõnda intensiivne, et ümrbritsev näis hajuvat ning kõik plaanitud lahkus meeltest.

Tahan sellega tänada kõiki elusolendeid ja Emakest Maad, mille pinnal Me kõik selle kõigega kohtuda saame. Südant kuhu kõik see ära mahub, ning Ruumi kus alati on ruumi avardavateks elu-üllatusteks.


Sander ÖÖs t Õekesele Marianile seal Vankuuveri saarel siirusi saatmas )'(