"Spare some change!"

http://jakecollier.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/homeless-man.jpg

Spare some change!
.
Spare some change.
.
Spare some change!
.

This day I had walked by from one homeless guy on the street. I walked by, but I carried him with me. I looked back. I thought back.
I stepped into a book shop, used books. It is the biggest around. And they have so many books there. I was looking for Ram Dass "Be Here Now". It wasn't there. But another one was - "How can I help?" I opened it and read....how we make difference who to help. How our family is closer to us than somebody else's family. And how we pass by from the people on the streets. We even don't dare to watch them. And we don't dare to see other people on the street either. What about smiling to them?
On the public transport or other busy places we find ourselves so interested in our shoes..or ceiling... or just nothing... something to keep us away from connection with a fellow human.

I bought a book about angels. Diana Cooper.
What am I looking for?
Help.
I am looking for myself.
This is so weird that I think that books will help. Maybe they will.
And from the library I have taken lots of books. About interesting things. Natives and peaceful warrior, medicine woman and prayers, chinese medicine and herbs... I just feel like learning.
Then again I realize that I might know myself. That those books are just tools.., I am the worker.
I am healer.
Why am I so lost sometimes?
Why is this world so sick?

I continued walking on the streets.
Another man on the street.
His voice sounded like a broken branch. He was wearing dark glasses and white stick was with him. He was sitting on a bench, white plastic bucket in his hands.
"Spare some change!
Spare some change!"

I stopped. Somehow the fact that he was blind, gave me more courage. I took 2 dollars from my moneybag and went close to him. I gave him the money and then I talked with him.
Tomorrow they will make bloodtest to him and day after tomorrow one of his kidneys will be removed. He can barely walk. He is asking money for food.
I asked if he has home and he said that he has a place that might be called as home, but it is a bunk, it is a place with broken lights and mice running around. He doesn't see that but others have told him that.
"They do not care."
"Who?"
"Government. There is so much food waste, but nobody gives that to us. They throw it into garbage and get insurance money from that."

I listened and thought about us, freegans of Victoria, young people finding free food from dumpsters, finding free furniture and clothes from the street... What makes us different from this guy on the street?
His mother died 2 months ago. He has had sight but now he is blind. Nobody wants to employ him.

I thank him for being there. For giving others a chance to feel compassion.
Chance to share. Chance to dare.
It was a challenge to me.
Also when I walked away, hearing his continuous pitiful shouts - "Spare some change..", I was almost crying.
So this is the world.
We go and buy more things to satisfy our wantings, we are proud to earn a lot of money and wear expensive perfume from France...we struggle in our spiritual searches, we go and shop in fancy organic markets and think that if we get ourselves a good yoga clothes and go and sweat a lot in moksha yoga....then this will be enough.

If I help friends, but I do not care about people on the streets - am I compassionate?

I feel the feelings of the World.
Paavo says that it is normal. I am those feelings.
It is true.
Also it is challenging. Cause some people feel so lost, sad and unhappy..., mistreated and abused, not listened and not loved. I feel that too.
Where comes the change?

Still.
I am positive.
I know that it starts with Love.
I Love.
I love myself and then I can love the others.
I feel compassion, but I cannot go along. Life is a gift.

It is time to take responsibility for us all. It is time to see and choose. It is time to wake up and act. It is time to care and open our hearts to the Now. Be Here Now. I am looking for that. But this is something I know within. This IS.

~May we be guided into our highest wisdom, unity and connection.
May our spirits talk through us,
may our bodies be clean temples for the Light.~