fresh sensation

What happened? I ask, cause it feels different today morning. New feeling. Like some things I have forget and some things have changed. I don't remember the dreams, but I feel the feeling.

I woke up in the city, with 25 million people around. Before I fell asleep there was loud music around, people partying and haveing their enjoyment. Smokes. Drinks. You know..., city-life in friday evening... Walking in and out..., this is a place where everybody comes... Travellers, by-passers. We are here as well. But 9 people who are also living here are on the beach now, vacation for them.
So, with Sander, we cleaned the kitchen and the living room and bathroom, to be able to survive here. What a shit people can create really! It is a good experience to see it! And clean it!
I feel in a way we are a clean-up team, travelling in the world.
I like it.

Nights are long,
I do are a lot in the internet in these days as well. It feels like I need it now. I am reading something, finding something, getting inspired. And getting tired as well. I am accepting.
This is also all me,
after 5 months on the road, in the nature, in the sleeping bag,
it is such a relief to crush into somebody's bed,
to take care of the stressed cat and to see prostitutes on the street. And do lasagne in the oven.

The next city is waiting for us.
The next country is there to recieve.
And the world is there to trust.
Canada.
My dream.
Life = Dream
I have to take care of it.

You can be whoever you want to be. It is all in your mind.
My life, our lives are teaching us to see and meet with the world, which is so full of everything, is so dual. It is ugly and it is beautiful, it is inspiring and it is tiring. And it is evergoing. There is no way out of life when you are alive. And once you have seen some things, there is no turning back. You can't forget.
It is damn hard sometimes,
but it makes you smile and go on and
see,
what is there,
behind the next curve.


I write in English
as it is possible.
I hope all the Estonians will be able to read it. And when not, then this is an exercise, to broad the mind. To find a way to understand.
Estonian is inside always. Now I am just changing this what comes out. The form. It is nothing.
I can think in both of those languages now,
sometimes a bit in spanish as well.


Well,
Mother of Mexico just provided us papaya, mangos, guayabas and limes - our breakfast.
We might as well go out now,
take some metros and go somewhere we haven't been yet,
meeting somebody we haven't met yet. He might be called Oscar.


The World is stopped by deaths and births.
New life cathed my feeling now. Kadri, the girl from the seat next to me, from highschool, from University..., she is on the wave of meeting with somebody, who is totally new! It is wonderful! It is....,
it makes me laugh and cry,
it makes me to realize how big gifts Life has for us,
we can live and choose.

Life is to live, not to ear living.
In Estonian it would be like:
Elu on elamiseks, mitte elatise teenimiseks.

Elu ei ole selleks, et teha midagi, mis ei vaimusta, lihtsalt sellep2rast, et raha saada. Nojah, eks seda tuleb selleks teha, et aru saada, et seda ei taha teha... :)
Well,
life is not here to do something which doesn't touch you inside, just to make money.. Well, well, you might need to do it in order to understand that you don't want to do it anymore!
So,
go for it!



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