I let you know that this last poem I wrote on my birthday, which is also a song (it is in Estonian so far, but I am working on translation) - I just realized yesterday that this is just about what I have here and now. It is like a prophecy I wrote to myself.
Incredible.
I live it here,
in Vancouver Island,
there is a wooden schooner Freyja and I am helping people there, fixing the boat. It is wonderful learning and beautiful persons.
I wake up and make exercises cause the Universe is changing and supporting, I feel great.
Cycling up and down the mountains makes my body feel happy.
Fairies and feathers are on my path, they guide. Native people come closer as well. I am learing. I am waking up.
I just have the moment,
nothing further,
cause this is the end of the world for me.
I feel like at home,
just now,
just here.
Seagulls send my greetings to you,
just dream and live it! - it is true!
30 May 2009
23 May 2009
Crash!
First time in my life I see how a person gets hit by a car. And it all happened Right next to me.
We are driving in Montreal, and all of a sudden I see a guy crossing the street while we have green-to-go. It is late, and he is wearing dark clothes as well. So we break, otherwise we would have hit him. Probably he is drunk as well. But the car on the next line does not see him, partly because of us, walking, and pooom. It was so so real, more than real. Time stopped, everything stopped, and the guy is flying in the air, the acceleration shows no mercy, the gracity takes him down. The walking stick flies away, and a bottle of somekind of "liquid" pops out from his pocet.
After that he did not move. We already started moving, he stayed there. People hopefully called the ambulance, I am sure. I hope. I believe.
Huh, real real Life. Hard for him. He was already walking with a stick. But everything must have a reason, he was totally spaced out while he was crossing the street. Huh!
So, make your own conclusions, and be aware of yourself when walking in the babylon.
Big cities create this kind of a love and hate relation towards it. That happened in Mexico and it happened today with Montreal.
I found something I can share with the world. To teach people how to make handstand, and headstands. To twist the perspective.
Photography reminded itself as well.
Well well, lets see, what life hast to offer me. I am ready for all sort of stuff.
Cheers for that.
Fuerza
We are driving in Montreal, and all of a sudden I see a guy crossing the street while we have green-to-go. It is late, and he is wearing dark clothes as well. So we break, otherwise we would have hit him. Probably he is drunk as well. But the car on the next line does not see him, partly because of us, walking, and pooom. It was so so real, more than real. Time stopped, everything stopped, and the guy is flying in the air, the acceleration shows no mercy, the gracity takes him down. The walking stick flies away, and a bottle of somekind of "liquid" pops out from his pocet.
After that he did not move. We already started moving, he stayed there. People hopefully called the ambulance, I am sure. I hope. I believe.
Huh, real real Life. Hard for him. He was already walking with a stick. But everything must have a reason, he was totally spaced out while he was crossing the street. Huh!
So, make your own conclusions, and be aware of yourself when walking in the babylon.
Big cities create this kind of a love and hate relation towards it. That happened in Mexico and it happened today with Montreal.
I found something I can share with the world. To teach people how to make handstand, and headstands. To twist the perspective.
Photography reminded itself as well.
Well well, lets see, what life hast to offer me. I am ready for all sort of stuff.
Cheers for that.
Fuerza
20 May 2009
Vancouver, here I am!
So, how can I now share the beauty I have around like Sander is doing - I do not have a camera at the moment. But be sure, I have Beauty!
My eyes touched snowy peaks of Rocky Mountains when I flew over them yesterday evening. I flew towards the setting sun, following its path. I won 3 hours to my life just like this. So, when the day when I was born is about to end in Estonia, it just started here - I have time to go and touch the ocean I came to see.
My soul is touched by the humid seawind - I feel like at home again. Mountains are around, people speak english.
I was picked up by Jenna's (good friend from Rainbow gathering) parents from the Airport - this hasn't happen with me for a long time and I must say it feels so good! I also got a good big bed to sleep in and when I woke up there was a colourful letter behind my door - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Yes, here I am, in the other side of the world, reading those wonderful wishes you all send to me and I feel connected, I am grateful that you all are somewhere there and here, in this planet Earth.
Montreal said goodbye to me - I ended my stay there in the same bar where I started it - L'Escalier - a place where the travellers and free-souls go and enjoy music, company and good food. This time I went with a bycycle - I had the best ride in town this night, full of lights and wind and freedom. Montreal is a nice city to visit, maybe even live...
And I found guidance through some beautiful friends I met there, some special women came into my life and they lifted up my soul and reminded me how to be a woman!
Nolwenn and Sophie. Angels, so different, yet same in the heart.
Spirit Feather is now guiding my path in this life. I search for my dreams I had when I was 10-12 years old - in those times people dream, just dream, without any fears and sense of "reality" - there is some truths to find and fulfill.
"Life is all about dreaming and then living those dreams," this is what Nolwenn told me and she knows it is true and I know it is true. It just takes some time to fully align with it! But this is all there is to do, so, go for it!
There is a good musician I listened to in a bar in Montreal, he painted landscapes with his guitar, his fast fingers... I was amazed. And then, 2 days later, we saw each other again while crossing the road. What a funny world, so small! And they say that there are no coincidences...
He is Ewan Dobson - go and find him in youtube and you might like it! He is virtuous.
And I must say that live concert, while I was the only one in this cafe, was the best!
So I go and live my day,
new circle is about to begin.
Leave all behind you do not need anymore
and imagine and create new,
which is aligned with your True Self.
And also Imagine how beautiful is here where I am.
I wish that the World will provide a good camera for me again, I have lived a year now without it, I am ready to use it again.
Thank you, World!
19 May 2009
TEEkond Quebec in focus
Proud to be alive| Olen uhke et olen elus
Adventuring soul Remi | Planning to make the trip around All the America| more than 60000 km with one year. It would be the new world record :D | h2mmastav toetaja, korjas mind eikuskilt peale ja oli valmis metsa viima, kuid metsatee ei toetanud meid ja autot, seega telgis magamise asemel sain linade vahele pugeda. Tema plaan on j2rgmise aasta 1 mail alustada rattaretke ymber Ameerika mandri, P6hjast l6una ja tagasi, kokku 60000 km ja rohkemgi yhe aastaga, mis looks uue ilmarekordi. Mis sa arvad, mitmes toas v6ib leida maailmakaarte?
I like the world from up there | Mulle meeldib maailm sealt k6rgemalt
Looking for the park | The most grazy ride ever. Not far from sinking into the road in the middle of nowhere| V2gev h22letamiskogemus, uppusime pea kaubikuga kevadpehmel teel. Metsik Metsik Kanada
Stairway into the lake| Veetrepp kylma kuningriiki
Minu Maja| My House
~Success in not measured by heights attained, but by obstacles overcome~
16 May 2009
~*~
The Lightworkers Decision
Valgust88liste Valik
Ait2h,
aitab.
M6istmine ja jagamine.
Thank you,
it helps.
Understanding and sharing.
Valgust88liste Valik
Ait2h,
aitab.
M6istmine ja jagamine.
Thank you,
it helps.
Understanding and sharing.
14 May 2009
Good Bye, Good Hug!
What a sensation
when I said goodbye
to my best travel-friend,
my brother,
in soul,
in heart.
Walk well my dear,
may the road be blessed and strong.
We both know that
the growth will be double now,
the light is spreaded
all over our home planet,
the Earth under our feet.
I dropped some tears
to the roots of a Tree,
sad but happy
we both are.
Beauty and truth
in our decisions,
guided by the Universe.
Fellowship of the Light
is on its path.
Brothers and Sisters,
let us join on the coast
of love,
care and share,
here and there,
in the space
of the Holy Universe.
I open my palms and heart.
I look into the eyes of a stranger.
We are one.
Namaste.
Inlakesh.
Montreal
14. may 2009
when I said goodbye
to my best travel-friend,
my brother,
in soul,
in heart.
Walk well my dear,
may the road be blessed and strong.
We both know that
the growth will be double now,
the light is spreaded
all over our home planet,
the Earth under our feet.
I dropped some tears
to the roots of a Tree,
sad but happy
we both are.
Beauty and truth
in our decisions,
guided by the Universe.
Fellowship of the Light
is on its path.
Brothers and Sisters,
let us join on the coast
of love,
care and share,
here and there,
in the space
of the Holy Universe.
I open my palms and heart.
I look into the eyes of a stranger.
We are one.
Namaste.
Inlakesh.
Montreal
14. may 2009
13 May 2009
"This is not the same person here..."
This was the high-point of the "movie" which was happening in beetween the countries (USA and Canada), on the border, on my mother's birthday (11th of May). The guy was investigating my two passports (new one with a chip inside and the old one which I used while entering Canada), asking me to watch straight into his eyes. And this is what he said: "It's not the same person here..."
I was amazed. In this moment I wasn't even able to cry anymore, it started to seem funny...
Yeah, Ben (from Pennsylvania), with whom I met on the rainbow, he came to Montreal to pick me up and give a ride down to Pennsylvania and then to Wyoming... and then I wanted to go and meet with Leon, Arizona and New Mexico... and new rainbow gathering there in July.
On this nice and sunny monday we hit the border of United States. I was happy to give them my new passport, I fulfilled some papers in the internet before - it all seemed fine.
One of the first questions was - how much money do you have at the moment? I only had 100$ in my wallet.
How do you finance your trip?
I have some money on my card, I have my fathers credid card as well.. (this was a mistake that I said "my fathers card" - actually I have my name on it, but it is just part of my fathers account - so, I was too honest...)
Where did you guys meet?
On the Rainbow Gathering in november in Mexico.
When do you plan to leave U.S.?
In August, I only have 3 months in USA with this program.
Do you have a job?
No, I cannot have now, I am on the road. I did have back in Estonia, I was working in organic food shop.
When were you in Estonia for the last time?
In october.
This line continued, they wanted to know about my parents (who are supporting my trip), they wanted to know about my studies, home... I said I do not have home at the moment, I am visiting friends, nature..
They asked things about Ben as well... Ben said he is a musician and he is not working at the moment (he quit 3 weeks ago, to be able to move from one state to another)... (this wasn't a good sign either).
So we waited for some time, then they called us back and said that the supervisor said that I am not allowed to USA, cause they think I want to start living there and I do not want to go back to Estonia, because the ties with this country are not proved in their opinion.
I was stunned. Ben too.
I asked what do I have to have then for them to prove something? They said that I have to have plain ticket back to Estonia, I have to have job back there, home..., and lots of money with me - like normal people do...
And the decision cannot be changed, supervisor said like this.
In myself I was thinking that I do not want to have plain ticket back to Estonia yet, I cannot have job in Estonia before going to U.S., I cannot have thousands of dollars in my bank account right away... I am not normal as they said...
The first thing they think about me that I do want to break the laws, to be a beggar and to do something bad with their country... Then I have to prove that I do not have those intensions.
What a funny world!?
I sat there, waiting, so they can do the papers and I can go back to Canadian border.
I surrendered.
I was even interested - so, no plans anymore, what will I do now?
It was just like I read from a book in this morning - how the plans are being changed by life and in the end it is the best what could happen!
A relief even.
They took my fingerprints. This girl was nice.
Otherwise, U.S. border was ugly - metal above the head, plastic to sit on, grey all around. People serious and proud to be U.S. citizens.
Canadian border.
So, we have the same rules as U.S. Do you have a plain ticket back to Estonia?
No.
How much money you do have now?
600 $ and a credit card.
Do you have a job in Estonia, a place to live?
No, my parents house only.
So on...
They came and asked where are we going in Canada, who is going to recieve us, does he have a job?
We are going to Montreal, to Danny's place, he is not working, he is just rich.
Where did you meet with him?
In the Rainbow, in Mexico, we travelled there together, with the horses.
What is rainbow?
Ben said that it is a hippie gathering... (wrong answer:P)
The woman said that I have to call my brother and he has to book a plain ticket for me - then they will let me to the country.
I called.
Sander was cycling outside. Danny said that do not worry, they have to let me somewhere, they cannot send me to heaven...
They searched all my things trough in the car. And they also searched my handbag. My wallet, my books. I had feathers in between all the books, in my wallet and on my ears (feather earrings).
"So you do like feathers a lot?"
Yes.
They found a card of Eve (a woman who is working with some politician in Montreal or smth) and they asked how do I know this woman? (We met in this crazy place with dinosaurs and hotel Madrid while hitchiking to Quebec.)
Waiting.
Being surprised that now I am not even allowed to go back to Canada...
What is the life teaching me now?
Ben decided to take me back to Montreal, but they said they let Ben in only when they let me in.
Waiting.
Surrendering even more.
Finding strenght inside, finding happyness inside.
They called me and made a picture of me.
Waiting.
Praying.
Then the woman came and told that due to benefit of a doubt they will let me to stay in Canada for 6 months, I have to give away two papers when I leave the country. I cannot work. I cannot study.
The rules are actually the same as before, just those two papers.
I do not know what changed their mind, maybe the angels...
We eat snails near the border.
Ben played violin.
Sun was setting.
I swinged.
I climbed to a tree and eat 3 yellow flowers our grandmother used to eat in springtime, to strengthen the blood.
Surreal moments.
Back in Montreal.
Back with Sander.
They offered us meat. We ate it.
Empty.
No plans.
Letting go.
Leon on the phone - I guess we do not meet now. It is all needed. Trust.
Here I am, back in Canada.
Surrendering more than ever.
Not knowing.
It is a challenge to be in this situation. Sometimes I am tired.
Then I find strength.
I do not have to know,
I just have to live.
Life made this strong change on my road. Another direction. No direction.
Wind. White wind. Come and take me.
Ending of the old,
beginning of a new.
There is nothing in between.
There is everything in between.
I was amazed. In this moment I wasn't even able to cry anymore, it started to seem funny...
Yeah, Ben (from Pennsylvania), with whom I met on the rainbow, he came to Montreal to pick me up and give a ride down to Pennsylvania and then to Wyoming... and then I wanted to go and meet with Leon, Arizona and New Mexico... and new rainbow gathering there in July.
On this nice and sunny monday we hit the border of United States. I was happy to give them my new passport, I fulfilled some papers in the internet before - it all seemed fine.
One of the first questions was - how much money do you have at the moment? I only had 100$ in my wallet.
How do you finance your trip?
I have some money on my card, I have my fathers credid card as well.. (this was a mistake that I said "my fathers card" - actually I have my name on it, but it is just part of my fathers account - so, I was too honest...)
Where did you guys meet?
On the Rainbow Gathering in november in Mexico.
When do you plan to leave U.S.?
In August, I only have 3 months in USA with this program.
Do you have a job?
No, I cannot have now, I am on the road. I did have back in Estonia, I was working in organic food shop.
When were you in Estonia for the last time?
In october.
This line continued, they wanted to know about my parents (who are supporting my trip), they wanted to know about my studies, home... I said I do not have home at the moment, I am visiting friends, nature..
They asked things about Ben as well... Ben said he is a musician and he is not working at the moment (he quit 3 weeks ago, to be able to move from one state to another)... (this wasn't a good sign either).
So we waited for some time, then they called us back and said that the supervisor said that I am not allowed to USA, cause they think I want to start living there and I do not want to go back to Estonia, because the ties with this country are not proved in their opinion.
I was stunned. Ben too.
I asked what do I have to have then for them to prove something? They said that I have to have plain ticket back to Estonia, I have to have job back there, home..., and lots of money with me - like normal people do...
And the decision cannot be changed, supervisor said like this.
In myself I was thinking that I do not want to have plain ticket back to Estonia yet, I cannot have job in Estonia before going to U.S., I cannot have thousands of dollars in my bank account right away... I am not normal as they said...
The first thing they think about me that I do want to break the laws, to be a beggar and to do something bad with their country... Then I have to prove that I do not have those intensions.
What a funny world!?
I sat there, waiting, so they can do the papers and I can go back to Canadian border.
I surrendered.
I was even interested - so, no plans anymore, what will I do now?
It was just like I read from a book in this morning - how the plans are being changed by life and in the end it is the best what could happen!
A relief even.
They took my fingerprints. This girl was nice.
Otherwise, U.S. border was ugly - metal above the head, plastic to sit on, grey all around. People serious and proud to be U.S. citizens.
Canadian border.
So, we have the same rules as U.S. Do you have a plain ticket back to Estonia?
No.
How much money you do have now?
600 $ and a credit card.
Do you have a job in Estonia, a place to live?
No, my parents house only.
So on...
They came and asked where are we going in Canada, who is going to recieve us, does he have a job?
We are going to Montreal, to Danny's place, he is not working, he is just rich.
Where did you meet with him?
In the Rainbow, in Mexico, we travelled there together, with the horses.
What is rainbow?
Ben said that it is a hippie gathering... (wrong answer:P)
The woman said that I have to call my brother and he has to book a plain ticket for me - then they will let me to the country.
I called.
Sander was cycling outside. Danny said that do not worry, they have to let me somewhere, they cannot send me to heaven...
They searched all my things trough in the car. And they also searched my handbag. My wallet, my books. I had feathers in between all the books, in my wallet and on my ears (feather earrings).
"So you do like feathers a lot?"
Yes.
They found a card of Eve (a woman who is working with some politician in Montreal or smth) and they asked how do I know this woman? (We met in this crazy place with dinosaurs and hotel Madrid while hitchiking to Quebec.)
Waiting.
Being surprised that now I am not even allowed to go back to Canada...
What is the life teaching me now?
Ben decided to take me back to Montreal, but they said they let Ben in only when they let me in.
Waiting.
Surrendering even more.
Finding strenght inside, finding happyness inside.
They called me and made a picture of me.
Waiting.
Praying.
Then the woman came and told that due to benefit of a doubt they will let me to stay in Canada for 6 months, I have to give away two papers when I leave the country. I cannot work. I cannot study.
The rules are actually the same as before, just those two papers.
I do not know what changed their mind, maybe the angels...
We eat snails near the border.
Ben played violin.
Sun was setting.
I swinged.
I climbed to a tree and eat 3 yellow flowers our grandmother used to eat in springtime, to strengthen the blood.
Surreal moments.
Back in Montreal.
Back with Sander.
They offered us meat. We ate it.
Empty.
No plans.
Letting go.
Leon on the phone - I guess we do not meet now. It is all needed. Trust.
Here I am, back in Canada.
Surrendering more than ever.
Not knowing.
It is a challenge to be in this situation. Sometimes I am tired.
Then I find strength.
I do not have to know,
I just have to live.
Life made this strong change on my road. Another direction. No direction.
Wind. White wind. Come and take me.
Ending of the old,
beginning of a new.
There is nothing in between.
There is everything in between.
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