Japanese food and low pressure

"We need 9 plates to serve the food, can you find?" 

There are only three of us, but in order to make it properly, we found those plates, different and colourful. 

This is Japanese food.

Yoshi is our headchef, fast and precise. 

I am washing, cutting, observing and starting to do more and more. Chopsticks are cooperating with my fingers.

Mirin. Soysauce. Fishstock. Japanese rice. Misosoup.

We sit on the floor, we join our hands, everybody on their own.

It is so interesting to try those tastes, take a bit of rice in between other things to clean the taste... It is delicate. It is beautiful. It is light.

Mexican food is heavy and rough. 

I am so lucky that I am in those moments where I can learn more and more about cooking, about different kitchens. It is an art. It is a pleasure. It is dicipline.

¡

So, we left the horse caravan.

Sunday was the day, the day of blue monkey - illusions and action. Akasha, the wing-wounded fairy - we helped her to go and she helped us to go. White mist landed on us, on the caravan. White car came (with mexican family who came to see us) and when he left, we jumped on the back with our Earthly and heavy stuff. Cordoba.

This white mist covered all and so I looked back, loosing sight, Kareen and Sergio riding there with the horses...

Last ride.

Tatanka.

Phoenix was standing there as a post..

Silent and quiet and beautiful.

In those last moments I felt peace. There is a space for us to go back anytime. It is respect.

When you leave a place, everything seems so real, special and important. And then you go, feeling some sadness and some tears... And happiness and freedom... It is as it has to be. It is dying.

I love to die.

The bus was just there, waiting for us.

TV opened in front of us. Dejavu was the movie. Just a coincidence?

Real and unreal. Movie inside. Movie outside.

Mountains.

And as we reached to the other side of the mountains, clouds were gone. Sun came out and sat there.

Toilet in the bus. Mirror. What a sight. I watched myself and I realized that I am wild. I hadn`t wash myself over a week. My clothes were dirty. My hear... No wonder that all the people were watching us..., hobbits from the forest... Akasha barefoot...

The same road to Mexico city as 5 months ago. We have made a circle. I even saw a place on the mountainroad, where the truck-driver stopped and we ate there... Dejavu.

Lights of the mega-city. Stunning. Vast. Is this really real? It is enormous. It is beautiful when you just watch. And it is sad, when you start to thing. So I was just observing, letting all the emotions go.

The White Team reached into the city, hero called Sander was carrying two bags (Akasha`s as well) and we took a metro. The last effort and we reached Yoshi`s place. It is a bliss when you have a place to go in this huge monster called Mexico city. He only knew that Akasha is coming. We stepped out from the darkness. And Yoshi said that he thought we will come tomorrow. So, quite good timing .)

Here we are now. Akasha managed to get her visa in two days instead of five. Indian embassies in England and in Mexico know her now for sure ~ so many calls and meetings... And it shows that everything is possible, when you really want it. She is on the road now.

We are new international group of personal home~decorators now. A green plant and a golden pot for it... Yoshi just wanted to make a working~space~table.... we ended up buying brushes and rolls and paints... Green is for the doors. And natural white for the floors. Grey and yellow are now covered. New space.

This is freedom. You just stop doing one thing and on the another moment you can do something totally different. It is sometimes unbelievable. Humans are so adaptive!

All my life has guided me into those moments. My father had to build the house and it took such a long time because then I got the chance to get older and paint my own room... I have the experience. 

Sandpaper and tape.

Working is beautiful. You go into it and you find yourself there. Sometimes struggling, wanting to stop, finding beauty, thinking, listening to music, dancing... And then, reaching the peace. It is as it is and I can choose to enjoy fully!

Technology market in the center of the city (called Zocalo) gave us a chance to to be touched in order to get us to buy something from their shop...and their shop... Crowd. Heat. Electricity. Waiting. Watching. Beeing watched.

Yoshi guided us, the freak of this world... I gave my best to handle this all.

We ended up with a nice hard disk for the pictures. Now we can go on on our own, having enough space to make as much photos as we want... at least for some time >)

Canada is waiting.

Flight is on the 16th of April.

Montreal.

God knows what is there waiting for us. We followed the guidance and pressed the button on the mouse . 

As I have experienced so far ~ everything has worked out so nice and so beautiful. I am surrounded with kind people, friends in the heart. I meet with the Family. We are spread all over the World and we meet with each other just like this, unplanned, but in alignment. It gives us support to know that we are connected to each other. And really it doesn`t matter so much if we are together or not. Space and time, all in one.

The road goes on.

Staying. Going. Coming.

It is only as it is.

So we go, Inlakesh and Tonatiuh, Marian and Sander. Heat. Sun. Mountains. Smiles.

Mathematic came to us. Conrado was doing some university-stuff and I had a chance to use my knowledge from the highschool. Refreshing. And Sander is with Yogananda. Book.

We went high, into the clouds. And it was cold.

This is The Purple Bus, where people loaded all their stuff. And now we loaded ourselves there as well, because we went to do a show in a small town called Comalapa. On the roof there is the best view, feeling and fun. So, Estonia is there. With Mexico and England.

Down here we can see Germany, Canada and Switzerland. This dog is Lobo.

The Surreal Mexico

You are walking down the street, you just got to down after 50 minute walking downhill. The sun is behind some clouds and your blood sugar has dropped tremendeously after morning coffee and few skoops of amaranth that i found from the purple magic bus.
Welcome to Huatusco.

The houses are painted purple sometimes - its fine. Some guys are building a new house, the other fellows are fixing the things the first guys made wrong.

Fresh Orange juice is cheaper than a liter of water in Europe.

Here in towns they have tortilla factorys where they make thousands of pancake like corn thingies in a day. You can get them machine warm ;D

If you are hungry then you can jump into random kitchen where three mamas are cooking eggs and beans for you in 5 minutes. It´s their way of living - cooking and serving. The cups might be blue and the chili sauce is going to lift your taste monitoring system to a new level.

To stop a horse caravan of 25 horses because of a red light on a crossing is an interesting mixture of different times.

On one street you can find three shops that sell exactly the same things ººº

Looking for a recycling bin¿?

It is okay if a taxy truck called cabioneta contains 20 mexicans on board - three of them standing almost in the air.

Gringo - sling sling - the prices just went up before i got to the shop :D

"What´s up man, where are you from man¿?"* * with a mexican english accent, a question addressed to you from a mexican who has workend in the states before º º º



Ehhe, there are so many details that impress me in this country - i think i should have a posting of my toilet experiences ;D


After sitting in the internet caffe for two hours your mind gets owerwhelmed by the frequencies of 10 zooming computers, street sounds and random music that the owner of the place chooses to listen...


Thank you my friendsº Let´s rather go out to the woods and get grounded again. After that we can meet here again.

Sander with a little funky hug - three days of riding horses without a proper bath and no soap ;D

Celestine Prophecy

When I can see how dirty are the horses, how much do I have to brush before I can put a saddle on, I understand what people breath in when they live in the cities.
I see that horses are nervous. Inlakesh wants to bite me when I put the saddle on. I am not afraid. I just tell him that it is not good to try things like this...

So we go. We found people who are showing us the way, they are veterinarians, they are real Mexicans, good riders. One of them is wearing a hat, sombrero, like in the movies, with a beautiful feather...
Mexico. It is a hot country. Somehow it is not a problem for me. In the breakfast today I noticed that we were the only ones (with Sander) who sat on the sunshine. Everybody else moved into the shade. They don't like direct sunshine so much? Maybe Estonian backround gives us this kind of readyness to stay in the sun. I noticed this in the Rainbow gathering, in the beach as well that I just enjoyed the straight sun all the time, no problems! Maybe this is the body-mind-school training-backround....

This book, Celestine Prophecy (Taevane Ettekuulutus, James Redfield) just came to me, from the library of our Purple Bus. I have read it before, but it is new all the time. The time is now as well. I feel like it is important to remember.
I catch glimpses of my own memory, history, from the time in Haapsalu, from the trainings... and I remember that I am able to be so sensitive and aware to know what is there for me to do. It is just knowing. It is a state of conciousness. It is like dream, which goes away so easily when you don't pay attencion. I guess I haven't been so awake all the time. And on this time I have had different experiences. It is important to go into a deep fog sometimes and from there to find the way out. It is a challenge.

World is giving signs all the time. It is just a matter of noticing them. I was looking for Sander and Justin (french-canadian film-maker from Quebec, Canada) in the big city, Orizaba. I knew that they are somewhere there, in the center. So, I just walked around and suddenly I found myself going into a beautiful churche. So good aroma of the white flowers! Beautiful paintings. And I saw symbols I have drew before - a triangle in the circle. And there were a picture about the God (old man), creating the World, light emanating from the hands and the heart. There were our small and round Earth. And under the Earth, surrounding and supporting, were the Angels, four of them. Behind the God there were a Pyramid of Light.
Very lightning picture. I am grateful that it is there.
I saw death as well.
Jesus was lying there, under the blankets, with a painful face which now finally found some peace. Many different sizes figures like this. Sincere.
And Virgins. Beautiful women on a service in this planet.

I started to go. I saw another way out, a door. I didn't choose it yet, but when I went out from the other door I still went on this side of the church. I had forgotten that I am searching for something...
Heh, and there they were,
sitting behind the table,
waiting for waffels,
smiling faces and eyes behind round and colourful glasses. With an elegant move Justin gave me a pair of glasses as well. So, we sat there, funny and friendly. People passing by. Eating sweet things...


Then we met a retired couple, citizens of Canada, but the woman was from Finland and the man from Jugoslovakkia. They are going to Canada in may. And they were interested about the travelling with the horses. They will pick us up on the way when we are hitchiking up there.

Yes. It is simple.
Signs.
We are on the road.

I wake up...

...
and I hear the sheep, really loud. M2222, m222!
Then I hear the sounds of the cars, bigger cars, busses... - it is a city. We are now so close to the Babylon (as the rainbow people call the city-world). Still, we have a campfire, tents on the grass, horses in the potrero next to us. And the Sun comes as always.
Every day is still new. Those some certainties we have, like washing teeth and sleeping in the sleeping bag.., and going to shitpit - I really like the small things which build the fundament of our daily life, they keep the world together.

When I wake up, the dreamworld fades away. But it is still there, it excists, because I experience it every single night. Even if I don´t remember it.
Being in a horse caravan - this is also like a dream. It is so wonderful, it is sometimes making me angry, it is closing me, it is opening me.
This time, in this camp, local tourism girl in the goverment of the Fortin, is personally taking care of us, providing a camping place, water, even some bears and some rides to town and around.... We are like V.I.P. here. Yet, we are the same.
I just put semi-clean clothes and shoes on and we went to a ceremony to honour the Mother Earth, Tonantzin. The president of Fortin invited us.
Tlazohkamati - thank you!
Mexico is so different!
Today I saw really fancy costumes, make-up and faces - modern world. But yesterday we left a place where people are washing their clothes in the river and houses are in between the sugar-cane fields..., old woman walking bare-foot.
It is beautiful!

Mexico is mother. It is love.
It is sharing whatever you have.
We are a family.

My lesson from Mexico is the lesson of Love. Unconditional love. I can't have any certain and strong statements, because they are not worth anything. World is so controvertial.
Just flow.

Peak of Orizaba - I can see snow there, it is just over there, behind some smaller mountains. It is vast. It is powerful. It is the highest peak in Mexico. It makes us feel small and humble. Thank you!

Horses,
now I realize that I am just fulfilling my dream from the childhood - I always wanted to ride, but it never happened like this. I had to come to Mexico to experience it. Strange life. There are no chances, everything has a meaning and a reason. Beautiful creation of God. Of the Universe.
So, I go into the moment of being on the horse. As we reached the Babylon, bigger roads, we all had another horse on a rope with us. I had One-Eyed-Willy. He is sometimes kicking the other horses when they come to close to him, because he doesn't see so much. It was an interesting and challenging experience.
I succeeded. Nobody died.

But one horse died couple of days ago. We were on the mountain road, going down. Some horses were going loose, we didn´t had so many riders... So, on one corner some horses stopped to take a bite of green grass.. I was just behind those two horses. They started to move. One of them make it back to the road. The other... He also wanted to continue the road, but he made one step into the unknowingness, down the cliff. He just dissapeared from my sight, rolling downhill.

Emilio, our mexican cowboy, he gave his horse to me to hold and took a rope and went down. Other courious people as well. My job was to keep an eye on the other horses - so that they can´t go down there.. Strong moments. Unknowingness. Tension.

And they came up again. Faces sad. We just lost Gavilon. Emilio, who knows the Death so well, cut the tailhair, for us to feel the Death...
Life goes on.
So we were all extra aware,
this lesson was so strong.
Gladly the horse died very fast, no suffering, branches on the skin, one piece of the wood in the neck and spine broken.
Sad and beautiful.

I am grateful to the Angel of the Death to let us feel that we all are mortal. We have horses, we have money, we have people in our lives... we have... but this all is a loan from the Death Angel. She will take it back.
In spanish language, the Death is feminine.

°

Grounded

As I just recieved a reminder to be more grounded in my writing, I might as well share the simple and daily things which I am more or less use to see in my life now. Around me.

Heh. Now a handful of people from the caravan just got into the town. We have a purple rainbow bus, which is carrying our excess stuff around when we are riding with the horses and we hop on it when we go with a group somewhere, usually into the town...

Now we are in Zongolica, small place in between the mountains. Last movement was without horses because they stayed on a better potrero (grassground) which is 1,5 hours back from us now. This is how we move - we find another place for camping and then we try to find a nice grass for the 34 horses we have now. It is hard sometimes here, because potreros are not so big and horses eat a lot! And to have a 34 horses alltogether is a lot around here.

Mountains. Yeah, we walked on the mountainroad yesterday. Sun was just so warm and intense, but it is not bothering me somehow anymore. I enjoy it. I collect it as a lizard. Nights are quite chilly sometimes, specially now, when we are higher. I even felt the height in my ears while walking higher...

Stones. We went into a cave. Bats were on the ceiling. It was a bit scary in the beginning - just a big hole in the stonewall, in the mountain, and it goes deeper and deeper. Manik (US) was carrying the didgeridoo. Some flashlights with us. I forget mine - I just didn't have this realization to take it with me.., not so much experience with the caves so far in my life...
So, there we were, in the vomb of the Mother Earth. We continued the discovery. Mika, a 6-year-old boy walking in front of everybody - he is like Huck Finn - so interested in the world around, so wise! We had to hold him back in case of sudden holes in the cavefloor.
Fear - I saw it down there. Then I realized that I don't have to be afraid of something which can be there. Everything can be there! What has to happen will happen.
Silence. We managed to turn off the lights and to close our mouths. This silence is strong. It is like a black hole. Somehow people are not feeling so comfortable when they have to be in silence for a long time.
Manik started to play didgeridoo. I listened for a while, listened to this big sound which came out, reflecting on the walls. I started to sing. Alexandra (US) and Akasha (England) and other girls joined. This was beautiful. Strong. Intuitional.
The cave continued into the deepness. We didn't have the equipment to go down.
One moment we all just felt that it is time to go out. Enough. Caves have their own and intense character.

On the way down outside I saw a stone. I took it with me. I put the silence of the cave inside there to be a reminder and a peace-holder for me. This kind of stone you cannot find in Estonia. It is black. It is thick and heavy. It is edgy.
The Stone of Silence.

Hey, we are in the rainforest! I learned this in the university and here I am. In the middle of those beautiful big-leefed and colourful plants. Lizards are passing by. Bugs are big. And crasshoppers and other friends are singing in the nights so loud. It is a symphony really!

I am learning how to see through the mists and clouds of people's emotions, words and moods - then I can see the nature, feel the wind, sense the stars, clean myself in the river, build a sacred space, talk less and choose the words carefully.

We speak about being ecological. We argue about eating sugar or not. We are using reusable bags when we go to buy food. We try to find local food, bananas, oranges, nopal (cactus leaves) and sugar cane. Sugar cane is funny - you just chew it and your mouth is full of sweet liquid. And you need a knife to get rid of the first green layer outside.
I think it is possible to find more local food. It takes some trust and effort and manifestation. Intension:) Tortillas are quite easy to get. Sometimes local people come into our camp and they bring milk-sweet-drink, tortillas, fruits. We have recieved invitations to go and eat tamales (corn-bean-things, wrapped in banana leaves) - all of us, about 20 persons. People are kind really.
And when I was cooking one day on the fire for the family - they just made a circle around me, watching the every move I made. It is a lesson for me as well - not to feel disturbed. To feel supported instead. And when those women left, they hugged me. I felt lots of warmth and love.
Thank you.

I see a palm tree when I watch outside. Loud music is also there. It is sunday, market day. Streets are full of fruits and all kind of spices and dead chickens are hanging there on the hook. Clothes are colourful and cheap and low-quality. At the same time long-dark-haired old women are selling handycraft and blankets. People are walking barefoot. I like those old women the most - they wear local dresses, usually white with colourful embroidery and they walk barefoot. They have their small bags and blankets for the tortillas and they smile so kind.


Now I can see that this picture, movie around me is so rich and full of details. I can paint with the words. I thank Mihkel, who brought me on the ground with his questions. Next time I will take his letter again and read it and write here.

We are getting ready for the show which is on the friday. Intense practise:)
Tomorrow we will have a women circle.

Smile-walk-bye.

yks ja k6ik

we are one in harmony

my love is guiding me to share and spread the white wind of the changes,

movements,

communication,

light

.

friends on the Earth,

we are all connected

because it is like this.

there is the Life.

everything is in alignment.

I am here.

There are no distances.

I let myself to feel you all,

to feel this connection

we are happy to have.

I thank you.

º

kirjaline kirjutus

T2na tulid mu teele Jumalanna kaardid, kuldsete servadega juhatusm2rgid, mida inglinaine Doreen Virtue on maailmale jaganud. See on kui aken ilma, mis on enese sees, mis on suur ja v2ike ja sosinal olemas.
Tuletasin endale meelde, et mul on eluline ja oluline olemine. Nii lihtne on end unustada, unustada oma olemasolu valguslik sisu ja pyhadus. K6ikv6imalikkus. Jah, olengi Jumalanna. Miks kyll on raske uskuda, et olengi k6ik, mis mulle endale ja maailmale vaja. Et olen t2pselt nii v6imas, kui enesel luban olla. Tean just seda, mida on vaja teada. Usaldus. Usaldus. Usaldus.
Kas usaldad ennast?
Kas usaldad, et oskad sel p2eval teha syya kolmekymnele inimesele, meeldida nende maitsele, toita neid?
Kas julged 8elda s6nu ringi, kus juttu on juba palju, on arvamisi, on tarkusi ja on teadmisi - kas usaldad, et Sinu tajumine on oluline maailma jagada?

Ma olen vaikinud rohkem. Olen tasasemalt 8elnud m6nele, mida arvan, mida n2en. Ringis r22kimine on vali. Ja vahest tuleb palju korrata, et oleks kuulda. Sest inimestel pole tihti kannatust olla kuulaja. Pole soovi oodata, vaid on vajadus teatavaks teha, mida neil 8elda on. Seda m2rgates ma pigem tahangi vaikida, kuid samas, kui s6nad tulevad mu suule, mis on ehk abiks k6igile, siis kas tuleks ikka tasa olla v6i lasta lahti need s6nad.
Kodumaal olles tajusin end teisiti. T6esti, lihtne on unustada enese olemasolu tugevus, kui ymber on palju valjuh22lseid mehi, kes juhivad ja tunduvad midagi teadvat.
Illusioonid. Ilusad. Illusioonid.

Yhel hetkel tuleb t6usta. Olla Naine. Olla. Avastada enda pehme voolavus ja kindel tulisus.


º


Kyll on ilus! Kui ka sel hommikul ei taha esimese hooga kohtuda k6ige l2rmiga, mis kolmekymnest inimesest vahest tekib, siis saab ikkagi panna jalga saapad ja astuda eemale, astuda m2rjale v2ljale, vihmatibade vahele ja vaadata yles m2kke. N2ha pilvede l2hedust, tunda 6hu niiskust. Eemal on hobused. Nad on priid. Ja nad seisid terve 88pimeduse aja sadavate piiskade m2rguses. Nii on. Ja nii nad on.

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Suur 6ppimine on lasta asjadel juhtuda. Samal ajal teada ja m2rgata, millistest hetkedest kinni haarata ja kaasa minna. Maailm tundub duaalne. See on vahest nii v2sitav oma kummalises toimimises, et j22n seisma. Heidan suisa pikali ja vaatan. On tunne, et ei taha midagi teha. Liigutadagi mitte. See on kurb ja r66mus korraga. Just nii, nagu ilm on.
YksK6ikne.
On ruum, kuhu mahub k6ik.
Ja yhel hetkel see tunne hajub, kui unen2gu hommikul.
2rkan tavalisse tajumisse, mis kyll kunagi enam sama olla ei saa.
Aeglaselt, kuid kindlalt sammun enese sisse, sammun maailma v2lja,
sellesse, mida s6nadega tunda ei saa.
Yhtegi astet vahele j2tta ei saa. Iga moment on omal kohal.

Vaja vaid 2rksust ja kohalolu.

Joondus ilma ja enesega.

º


Mis on isiklik ja mis on avalik? Kui elada kommuunis, siis kaob see piir. Ja kui olla lahti, siis polegi piire. On vaid tunde kysimus. Ma olen aus. Avastan ausust. Ja usaldan seda, mis tuleb hetkel, kui kirjutan. Vahest tean, mida s6nadesse panna, tuleb tuhin, mis loomingut loob. M6nikord kui plaan. Teinekord nii hetk, kui olla saab.
Mulle meeldib kirjutada.
K6ik s6brad, kelle kirjadele pole vastuseid saanud - jah, kirjutan siis, kui tuleb hetk. Ja kui ma pole kaua kirjutanud, siis mulle v6ib ikka kirjutada, justkui meeldetuletuseks. Sest meel vahest unustab. Syda ent mitte.
S6natult olen olemas. Olen olemas neile, kelle jaoks olen olemas.

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Vend on k6rval ja me eestikeel k6lab metsiku Mehhiko sygavuses. Ma isegi ei tea enam t2pselt kus ma olen. Neid kohti pole kaardil.
Hobur2nnutee 22res oli v2ike kohake, kus elas p2rismaalaste pere, kel oma palvemaja ja surnuaed, kus taimed haudadest v2lja kasvasid. Nii siirad silmad. Nii pyha elu.
Vaatasin ja naeratasin.
Mu sees on t2nulikkus, et seda olen kohata saanud.

Mida soovite lugeda? Mis on huvitav?
Mul on vaja vaadata k6rvalt enese elu, siis tean, mida 8elda.

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Pikk jutt olgu lyhike. T2nan.

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